.

Praying

2011-03-01T19:41:00.001-06:00

For Vicki and Kerwin Dees and their whole family. I love you guys.

No Title

2010-07-11T01:27:00.002-05:00

I don't have much to say, I'm up too late and my mid is wandering. I was one of the lucky people that got to have Stephanie in my life. Six years seems too few to have been able to spend with her, but they were great years. Even the last two as I watched her suffer and fight a terrible disease. Her spirit, drive, and faith taught me so much about life. Every day continues to bring challenges as I struggle with grief and continuing on. I miss Stephanie, but I am glad she never has to worry about pain again. I only hope that I can pass her memory, her faith, her spirit, and her strength on to all those whose paths I cross.

Grace and Peace.

Sometimes

2010-04-11T20:51:00.002-05:00

Sometimes I can't help but see the look in your eyes as Janan told you "This might be the end". Sometimes I keep replaying telling you in ICU that I told the doctors not to intubate you, thankfully thats the same time you told me that you loved me for the last time. I Treasure that memory and I Love you too.

The First of Too Many

2010-03-11T17:17:00.003-06:00

The first important anniversary milestone has come and passed. Prayers be with Armando's Family. Marathon Pipeline erected this memorial at the jobsite, close to the location of the accident.

Making It

2010-02-18T17:50:00.002-06:00

That's exactly what I'm doing day by day and hour by hour. There's nothing else I can do. I apologize for not being better about keeping up with this blog, maybe I will become better, or maybe I will start a different one and allow this one to remain as is. Regardless, I am still here. In Oklahoma for the time being. I haven't made it out to Siloam for church near as much as I would have liked. I miss all the people out there, but part of me is still scared of the memories and emotions that will come up when I'm there.

I have come to deeply appreciate the many joyous memories I have of Stephanie, but there are times when the sense of loss is certainly overwhelming. There are also times when I feel as though nothing has happened. I often think of something Stephanie would enjoy hearing about, and have to remind myself I can't tell her about it.

A great friend sent me a very good book about dealing with loss. The author experienced his own tragic loss and is able to write with and about the real emotions, and the real way in which life moves on.

So I am here and I am making it. With support from everyone in my life, and ultimately with the support from God. I live each day because there is nothing better for me to do. "To live is Christ, to die is gain".

Grace and Peace,

Warner

Stephanie Marie (Owcarz) Bradley

2009-12-27T20:42:00.002-06:00

It has been a whirlwind 12 days. At one point my dad and I drove around 2200 miles in a four day period. All of this travel, combined with the normal busyness of the Christmas season has left me somewhat physically drained while leaving me mostly too busy to think. Let me first say that the services for Stephanie were all very beautiful. It was good to see friends and family that it had been a while since I had seen. I only wish it had been under different and better circumstances. Thanks you to everyone that was able to make it and thank you to everyone that wasn't able to make it but sent their thoughts, prayers, and cards and flowers.

I wanted to take some time to recount some memories I have of Stephanie. These will be in no particular order and may take more than one or two posts for me to finish. Please feel free to include your own memories in the comment section.

I remember our wedding day. As the doors in the chapel opened I saw Steph and her dad about to walk in. She was so beautiful. So happy. Her face on that day is one of my favorite memories of her. After our vows and a few pictures we rode to the reception in a 1947 convertible her parents had rented for us. This was a lot of fun as we got lots of honks and plenty of smiles. The reception was also fun, we split up for most of it, but then we didn't know how to cut the cake or toast, Stephanie's mom had to correct us.

I remember our first townhouse together. It was essentially a dump. But it was our home, and we enjoyed our time there. I used to make Stephanie go pay the rent because our dish washer was broken, and the property manager would give her a discount because he always forgot to get it fixed. While we lived here we used to have to bum off of our friends to let Ruekie out because I worked in Tulsa and Stephanie would sometimes have school or work all day in Fayetteville. One morning Stephanie woke me up. She told me the rapture was happening, she had heard the trumpet sound. A few seconds later the "trumpet" sounded again as the train made it's way through Siloam Springs. I teased Stephanie about this until we later learned another friend of ours heard and thought the same thing. Then I teased them both. This is a good illustration of Stephanie in last few hours. She was ready to go. Just as ready as she was that early morning at home.

Stephanie's last days and weeks were tough. When we checked into the hospital after Thanksgiving I was very worried about her. It wasn't until the Wednesday after Thanksgiving, when we got the results from the brain CT that I began to have hope again. As Steph recovered from her hypercalcemia, we were hopeful she would be released soon, we would go to Tulsa, and begin some sort of a clinical trial. Stephanie never lost hope. She never lost faith. She knew she was going to get better, she knew she was going to have a life, and she knew she was going to get to conitnue to decorate our house in Tulsa. On Saturday before Steohanie went home the doctor on call for Dr. B came in with Stephanie's Dr. Heels. They spoke to Stephanie about decisions she should make now in the event she coded. They counseled that in the event of intubating Stephanie she would most likely never have the tube removed. When they left we hugged and cried. Stephanie told me she still wanted her miracle. She wasn't supposed to be having this conversation. She didn't know what to do. On Sunday Dr. Heels again came by and talked to Stephanie some more. Steph still didn't want to discuss anything as you can imagine. Later Sunday I asked Stephanie if we could tell our families what the doctors hed told us the past two days. She said yes, but I had to make sure they knew we were still looking for clinical trials. She wanted everyone to know she still had hope, that she was still planning on getting better. I couldn't bring myself to tell anyone that day. There was a consultation set up for Steph on Monday with the pallative care team of doctors that helps patients make end of life decisions. I decided that after Stephanie made a decision as to whether or not get tubed we could tell everyone everything at once. I still regret not telling our families. Although I feel this is what Stephanie wanted at the time, I wish everyone had been able to be more prepared.
On Monday, December 14th, Stephanie woke up to go to her radiation treatment and was having extreme difficulty breathing. She made it down to radiation, Dr. Fields was walking by and took one look at her and sent her back upstairs because she was in such obvious discomfort. This was my first clue something was possibly very wrong. Dr. Fields does not let people miss their treatments. We got back to the room and Steph's 2 favorite daytime nurses were there. They became immeadiately concerned with the issues Steph was having breathing. They called for the lung specialist to come see her ASAP. He ordered a chest x ray prior to showing up. I was able to see it. Her lungs looked terrible. Her left looked solid and her right looked fuzzy (full of fluid). This scared me. When the doctor came in so did the two nurses. Stephanie was sitting up in a chair and realy laboring to breathe. The doctor explained he wanted to send her to ICU. The nurse stepped in and told Stephanie that this meant she would get a tube in her throat to keep her breathing. Stephanie's eyes got wide and she shook her head that she did not want that to happen. Then the nurse asked her if she knew that this meant it was probably the end. Again her eyes got wide and she shook her head again. They decided to take her to the ICU due to her indecision. When we got to the ICU and they moved her to the bed there they connected her to the BIPAP machine, which forced air into her lungs when she took a breath, no matter how shallow. She was continually becoming more distressed. My mom arrived at some point. The nurses upstairs had called Stephanie's parents for me and they were on the way. The pallative care team doctor and nurse came in at this point as well as the critical care doctor. They began talking to me about whether or not they should intubate Steph. This was a decision I did not want to make. Eventually after remembering all the things that had been told us by all the doctors, and also after thinking long and hard about what Stephanie would want I tol them not to intubate her, and to make her as comfortable as possible. This is the hardest thing I have ever done in my 26years of life. They gave her some medicine and she calmed down finally. Steph's parents arrived and later on so did her brother. Eventually, around 5:00pm Stephanie woke up and was lucid. I am so thankful for this brief time that she was awake and able to communicate. Her first response was to try to pull the BIPAP mask off. Later while we were alone I told her that I had made the decision not to intubate her. She gave me a classic Stephanie look that said "Why?" I told her everything that had weighed in my decision, she closed her eyes and nodded. Then she began working on the BIPAP mask again. I told her that the mask was what was helping her breathe more than anything else and she had to leave it on. She continued acting like she wanted it off. I told her to wait, and I texted her mom for them to come back in. When her parents and brother arrived back in the ICU room she took time to tell us all that she loved us. She told me twice. I think she was assuring me I had made the right decision on the intubation. Then she asked for the mask to come off. A nurse came in and removed it slightly, enough for her to tell us "Let me go! Let me go!" but then she realized she really couldn't breathe with the mask off. We put it back on and asked if she still wanted it off. She shook her hand to indicate she was unsure, so we left the mask on overnight. As a testament to the impact that Stephanie had on people, at about midnight the number of people at the hospital had swelled to include 2 more people from Illinois, 3 people from Little Rock, and several more from Luling. You all know who you are, and your presence was much appreciated. On Tuesday December 15th at just after 5:00pm I asked the nurse to remove the BIPAP mask and place Stephanie on just oxygen. She breathed for approximately 15 to 20 minutes and then she went home to heaven. We wept. We wailed. We grieved. We rejoiced. Stephanie lived in excruciating pain for about 2 months before passing. For a week she was unable to catch her breath. For a month she was barely strong enough to make it around the apartment. She lived a short life. She lived a full life. She met our Lord and Sacior with a grace surpassing any I've witnessed. She was my helper. She was my best friend. I am sad she is gone, I am overjoyed she is no longer suffering.

These are some lyrcis from one of my favorite bands, Stavesacre, the song is "Gold and Silver"
Do I see God in all of this? maybe all along
It's just that we're so small, and simply not as strong
Strong like wings of silver, and feathers made of gold
To carry heavy hearts, to cover all our helpless souls

To cover all of us

Under wings of Gold and Silver sometimes we have to hide
For shelter from this bitter winter at least tonight

This is a poem Paula sent me:
THE WEAVER, by Benjamin Malachi Franklin (1882-1965)

My Life is but a weaving
between my Lord and me;
I cannot choose the colors
He worketh steadily.

Oft times He weaveth sorrow
And I, in foolish pride,
Forget He sees the upper,
And I the under side.

Not til the loom is silent
And the shuttles cease to fly,
Shall God unroll the canvas
And explain the reason why.

The dark threads are as needful
In the Weaver's skillful hand,
As the threads of gold and silver
In the pattern He has planned.

He knows, He loves, He cares,
Nothing this truth can dim.
He gives His very best to those
Who leave the choice with Him.

Grace and Peace

Stephanie's Services

2009-12-16T20:44:00.002-06:00

Stephanie's Services will be held at Bible Center Church in Luling, La. Viewing/visitation will be at 9:30am the service will be haeld at 11:00am.
There will also be a graveside service for her at 2pm on Saturday in Auburn, Al.
For the past eight months, while Stephanie has been in and out of the hospital, she has mainly stayed in what is known as 5 west. This is the cancer center in the hospital. During this time we met and grew to be friends with many of the nurses and staff that work there. If you would like to make a donation in Stephanie's memory please make it to the cancer center specifically. Donations can be made at the Our Lady of the Lake Foundation website.

We Have Such a Dim View

2009-12-15T20:06:00.002-06:00

Scott Hodge, the man who married us, once told me that we as humans have such a dim view of heaven. Otherwise no one would say something like "I just want to see/do ____ before I die". If we truly understood what heaven was like there is no way we would ever wait for something on this Earth. Tonight just before 6:30 Stephanie was able to find out exactly heaven is like. She lost her battle with cancer, her body had just been through too much. The tumor in her left lung had grown to nearly replace the lung, pain was not subsiding in her arm from the growth in the chest wall, and her right lung was full of fluid. She fought hard, and she fought long, but it was just too much.Today marks eight months from the official diagnosis of her recurrence. Your thoughts and prayers for all of her family and friends is greatly appreciated. I will post the details about the services once they are finalized.

They Ought to Name a Room After Her

2009-12-05T20:15:00.002-06:00

...Or maybe an entire wing. Stephanie has been re-admitted to the hospital. She started Radiation on Tuesday and Wednesday. Then on Wednesday night we drove to Waco for Thanksgiving and her grandmother's birthday party. The trip seemed to really wipe Stephanie out, she was in a lot of pain, sleeping most of the time, could barely walk, and was pretty confused. After seeing everyone and enjoying the party on Thursday we packed up and headed back to Gonzales so Stephanie could get her next two treatments on Saturday and Sunday. Sunday evening she started getting even more confused and weaker. When we went to the doctor on Monday he immeadiately suggested the hospital because her calcium was so high. Hypercalcemia is relatively common in people with solid tumors in the lungs, and causes most of the problems she was having. On Tuesday, after recieving some anti calcium drugs she was still pretty loopy, so the doctor decided to scan her brain just in case. The scan was thankfully clear, but it was still a scary few days. Today she is mostly lucid as the effects of the calcium are wearing off finally. Hopefully she will be discharged early next week.

Update: One Month Later

2009-11-29T00:21:00.002-06:00

It's been a while since I've updated, even longer than the month it's been since Stephanie did. And what a month it has been. After her last update Steph started complaining about the Taxol and significant numbness in her hands and feet (a common side effect of the chemo). The third week of her three week cycle her blood counts were down and she didn't recieve the Taxol, only the Erbitux and later two units of blood. The next week was an off week, towards the end of the week she began complaining about a sharp pain in her left arm and hand. On Monday when she saw the doctor we discussed this and he determined he would like to scan her and see if there was a reason for her pain. She had treatment that day as well since we were in the bulding. At the end of the week we traveled to O'Fallon IL to visit my family, surprise my sister as she was in a play, and celebrate my mom's 56th birthday. Unfortunately there was a reason for the pain that showed up on the scan. The Taxol/Erbitux combination was not being effective and the large tumor in her left lung (the only one that showed any activity a month before) was growing somewhat significantly. It has begun eroding the chest wall and is pressing on nerves in the let shoulder blade area, which is causing the pain in the arm and hand. He switched her to another new drug to see if it would be effective. She felt good in the beginning of the week, but again towards the end the pain became unbearable. When we saw the medical oncologist on Monday and told him about the pain he suggested we consult with the radiation oncologist and determine if the tumor could be radiated to more quickly relieve the pain in the shoulder. The RO decided that he could and Stephanie started her second round of radiation on Tuesday before Thanksgiving. She recieved two treatments before Thanksgiving and then we headed out to Texas for Stephanie's grandmother's 80th birthday. It was good to see her extended family and celebrate such a long life. Stephanie was of course the second center of attention at the party. Unfortunately all the traveling has pretty well done her in. She slept the entire day Thursday, except while we were actually at the party. We had to return to Gonzales on Friday so she could receive her next two radiation treatments today and tomorrow. She has slept all day today as well, she even missed the Razorback game and slept through all my hollering. Hopefully tomorrow she will get some energy back.

We are still planning on moving back to Tulsa. The date is currently set for traveling on December 18th, and staying in our house for Christmas. The MO is researching cancer centers for us and will make a recommendation, probably sending Stephanie to an academic center in order to participate in a clinical trial.

Grace and Peace

Can't A Girl Just Get One Step Ahead?

2009-10-21T18:59:00.003-05:00

Can't I just have a normal life for a day? I mean seriously I'd settle or an hour if that would be possible. On the 19th (Monday - when I had my treatment I was feeling pretty good, tired though. So I had my chemo, and got that shot to boost my red blood cell count again - yeh the one that hurts unless they push it in fast enough and not all of them do that. Everything was all hunky - dory. Well, at some point during the afternoon I did something to the mid - left section of my back and as the night went on it got worse and worse. Yesterday I barely got out of bed and it was killing me to even breathe because of the pain. Today was a little better, but not as much mostly kicking me in the - it just . I can drink a few small sips at a time - like 2 - and I haven't even attempted to eat so we are using the feeling tube. I've mainly been sleeping the day away with the drugs. Does anyone have any back /injury fixes?

Okay, so I wrote that over period of a few days and I'm getting a little better I think. I'm drinking more by mouth now and I think that is from the antibiotics because I coughed up some nasty nasty stuff that had been stuck in my throat. We still don't have a date in December for when we are moving back. Things are just always changing out there - so we are still just playing it by ear! Okay, I'm stopping now, before I make even less sense than I have been.

Have You Forgotten About Me Yet?

2009-10-12T20:04:00.002-05:00

Long time no post! Well, I guess it's been a week or two, which isn't toooo bad. I finally have some news to post about - see, good things Last week I had the week off from chemo and had my PET/CT scan. It was definitely nice not having to get up early for chemo on Monday. Today we got the scan results and they were definitely positive. The only scans he had readily available to compare them with were the scans from April and I've had several other scans since then during my hospital stays.

So, the scan results:

There were originally two main tumors, one in each lung. The one in the right lung is near the middle of my chest. The tumor in my left lung (where they originally took the biopsy) is near the outside wall of my lung.

According to the scans from last week my tumor in my right lung is not there anymore. The tumor in my left lung is still similar in size (compared to April) but it is responding to the chemo. It's hard to explain. The tumor area is about the same size but the active part of the tumor that is lit up on the PET scan is smaller.

So. My Oncologist thinks it's the Erbitux that is having such a good response so we are continuing with it. I am stopping the Cisplatin and starting Taxol - which means I think I may end up losing my hair again, but I haven't read up enough on Taxol to know for sure.

Well, this is all the updating I'm going to do tonight - I think I've fallen asleep 7 or 8 times while writing this - Warner keeps poking me to wake me up. Goodnight!

Somebody Listen To Me!

2009-09-21T11:09:00.003-05:00

Story Time!

So, my parents and brother came up to the apartment yesterday to visit for a little while. Well, I was feeling kind of run down all day so I hadn't eaten really at all so I decided to make some cheese toast because it usually goes down well. Well, rewind to Saturday night - per Warner's request - I made an apple cake from a recipe on The Pioneer Woman (it was actually a really good cake). Well, you cook the apples in a skillet and pop it in the oven once you put on the cake mix. The problem is that there is twenty pounds of butter in the recipe and apparently during the entire cooking time, butter had been dripping over the sides of the skillet on to the oven floor - which I noticed when I took the cake out but there wasn't anything I could do at that time while the oven was still hot. Okay, back to Sunday night and my cheese toast. I forgot all about the butter being in the bottom of the oven so I turned the oven on 400 and popped my toast in there (I'm not one to preheat the oven unless I'm baking bread or a cake or something like that). Well, the whole time it was cooking I was thinking it smelled like something was smoking or whatever - it wasn't too strong though so I ignored it. Well, I went to get my bread out and when I opened the door there was a small fire on the bottom of my oven - to which I exclaimed - "There is a fire in the bottom of my oven." AND NOBODY MOVED OR DID ANYTHING. My dad had been standing right next to me and he just walked away and sat on the couch. Then I said, "Umm...Warner there's a fire..." Nothing...then I slightly yelled "Somebody listen to me! The oven is on fire." And then my dad and Warner responded and dad blew out the fire and my mom and brother stared at me like I was crazy. Apparently I didn't have enough of a reaction to the fire for anyone to think anything of it. Maybe I'll just have to be overly-dramatic next time.

Fatigue At It's Finest

2009-09-12T18:44:00.008-05:00

For the past week I have been fighting some extreme fatigue - which can always be quite entertaining since there is no telling what I will say or do - I can' recall any funny stories right now, but I know we've had our share the past few days. On Monday night I was running a high fever (101.8-102.3) so we called MBP because that's what you do at times like that. The on-call doctor wrote me a prescription for some antibiotics - because that is usually the problem, and it was - my tube that is still in my belly was all red a super painful and draining some. So, we got that fixed. On Tuesday I was still feeling pretty blah, just run down and out of it and I threw up once, so I had Warner take me in to MBP for some IV fluids and meds and whatever other magic potions they wanted to throw my way. Well, I didn't get any magic potions, instead I was the proud recipient of two bags of blood. Turns out I was quite anemic. So, I spent my day getting my transfusion. The transfusion did help for a while, I felt really good Tuesday and even on Wednesday. The problem, though, was that I was on the antibiotics and I'm also on blood thinner. Apparently the antibiotics can increase the effects of the blood thinner, and I'm guessing this is why I'm back to feeling run down. I do not have anymore antibiotics to take and I go into the doctor on Monday, so hopefully my body will work on straightening itself back out in the mean time.

Here are a few pictures from the house in Tulsa - we painted the study and the kitchen while we were there over Labor Day.

The kitchen nook area.

The wall on the right needs some art work or something to fill the space. We got the plates above the windows from Hobby Lobby and I'm debating about going and buying the larger one but I'm really not sure what to do....

The study

And again

New artwork above the fireplace. One of our Washington pictures.

My stomach with the tubes still in but my bruises from the Lovanox shots were mostly gone at this point.

Oh well, I'm going to head off to bed here soon! Goodnight!

There's a Hole In My Belly Dear Warner, Dear Warner

2009-09-01T19:48:00.003-05:00

So, today I got my drainage tube taken out. You would think this would be no big deal because I had my PEG tube taken out last year and it was a piece of cake. Well, except for the whole confusion in the pre-op area and no one being able to find me, and yeah, no big deal. Well, turns out they put in a different type of tube this time - one with a non-deflatable stopper in it. NON-DEFLATABLE. Last time, my PEG tube had a balloon on the end of it and the radiologist just deflated the balloon and slipped the tube out. Then he butterflied the hole with tape and threw some gauze on there and we called it a day. This time, after waiting in the waiting room for an hour and a half (they were super behind) I went back to the room only to find out that the G tube had the mushroom stopper on the end of it and that was going to be pulled through the hole in my belly - I wanted to start crying right at that moment, but I didn't. Then he pulled the tube out and let's just say I screamed some and then my eyes got quite watery. Warner's hand is probably broken in about 20 different places as well. So, he pulled the tube out in two yanks, yeah, not one, but two, and stomach content went everywhere. I soaked through tons of gauze in about two seconds. My tshirt and jeans did a good job of soaking up the stomach stuff as well. I'm still leaking a good bit tonight so I've got a stack of towels and gauze nearby and Dr. Warner is doing a great job by keeping me doped up on some pain meds for now.

My stomach can close up by tomorrow (like it did last time) but there's always a chance that it may take a few days and I'm definitely going to be more sore this time than I was last time, just because of how they pulled the tube. And you know what the worst part is??? I still have my feeding tube in the right side of my stomach so I have to go through all this again eventually. I think I might be waiting a little while though.

Not Much Is Going On Around Here

2009-08-25T10:33:00.003-05:00

I am usually one of the first people in the chemo room on treatment days. We always scheduled treatments for as early as we could because it used to take all day and we just kept it that way. For the first couple of hours Warner and I both get to sit in recliners because the room takes a while to fill up, but eventually Warner has to move to a roll-y chair that the nurses move around and also use so he occasionally gets bumped from his chair temporarily. No big deal really. Well, there is one nurse who is kind of loud and she embarrassed the heck out of Warner yesterday by yelling to him from across the completely full room (she needed his chair),

Nurse: Mr. Bradley, I need your chair

Warner: Okay

Nurse: Sorry I would have called you by your first name, you're too young to be Mr. Bradley. What's your first name?

Warner: It's Warner

Nurse: Warren?

Warner: no, Warner

Nurse: Okay, Warner I need your chair.

EVERYONE was staring at him and he turned slightly red. Way to not draw attention to us! So now everyone knows who we are, although we already stand out in there because we are so young. I thought we had always done a good job of flying under the radar, but the first week I walked into chemo after Washington, I was amazed at all the people who commented and mentioned they had been praying for me and such.

So, in other news I have switched from daily Lovanox shots to taking Coumadin and my stomach is thankful. I'll have to post a picture of my stomach - it was dark dark purple and probably the worst bruise I have ever seen. I'm also getting my stomach tube out sometime soon - I'm waiting to hear when the appointment will be. I'll still have the feeding tube but that one is bearable - it's the drainage tube that gives me problems and I'm not using it any more so it just hurts all the time - so it is time for it to go. Well, that's all I've got for now.

Growing Back Muscles Is Hard Work

2009-08-16T09:56:00.003-05:00

I have been a terrible blogger lately but the truth is, apart from telling you that everything is going great, I've got nothing to say! Or at least, I don't find most of it interesting, maybe you all would disagree, so here you go.

We have finally gotten a step ahead of all the nausea and dehydration (this past week at chemo I didn't even need extra fluids) and I have had really good weeks since getting back from Washington, granted, any week that I don't go to the hospital is a good week! I have gained a significant amount of weight in the past two weeks - I'm up from 115 to around 130, but I'm still wearing a size 4 or 6 in pants which means I have been shopping a few times! My plan is to get my weight around 140 and keep it there, so we will see how that goes. I have stopped using the stomach drainage tube (I still have it, it's just closed) and I guess as long as things keep going well with that I'll get it out eventually. I still use the feeding pump. but it now just runs through the night and in the morning, which means I get to unhook from it all afternoon. Since I started gaining weight so quickly after Washington, because I am eating more by mouth, we do less food by the feeding tube. We couldn't do this before when I had the drain tube open because everything I would eat and drink would just come out through there and basically I relied completely on the feeding pump. The IV pole can also be a pain to push around so it's really nice to have some freedom from it for a little while each day once my pump is done - it's much easier to go shopping without it.

So I have been eating about three meals a day by mouth - I still can't eat a whole lot at a time, but I do snack a lot in between meals. Hopefully I'll be completely independent of all my tubes here soon and they can come out! I've been cooking a good bit as well - something I've missed doing! I even bought a cute little apron from World Market the other day. I also bought a ton of new cake decorating supplies from Hobby Lobby yesterday and I can't wait to try them all out!

I always joke with Warner that growing back all my muscles is really hard work. Because I'm feeling so well, I'm usually super exhausted by the end of the day and since my muscles didn't get used for so long, they have been super sore lately! Especially my legs!! But I'm slowly getting more endurance and getting around better. Well, that's all the updating I have for now - I think I've rambled on long enough. I'll try to keep up with this thing more often now!

Oh! If you need Haley's address sent to you so you can send her your bracelet money, email me - sobradley@gmail.com , or leave your email address in the comment section so I know where to email it to.

Just A Quick Note

2009-08-12T21:52:00.003-05:00

My awesome friend Haley has mailed out the bracelets that she has finished so be watching your mailboxes. If you have not sent her the money for them, they are ten dollars each and I can get you her mailing address or you can send me the money and I will get it to her. I will post an update about us at some point in the near future - maybe even with pictures!! I know you guys miss me terribly, right?

A Much Needed Break!

2009-08-03T14:39:00.028-05:00

Here are a few pictures from where we've been lately! Now you'll understand why we've been MIA from the blog. I'll post more pictures and stories later on. Enjoy these for now.

The view on top of Hurricane Ridge in Olympic National Park - it was awesome!

On top of Hurricane Ridge

The Hoh Rainforest - they were experiencing a drought while we were there!

This is "sunset" at Rialto Beach - it was quite foggy!

Rialto Beach

Dungeness Spit! It was pretty neat out there.

This is at the Lavender Farms - definitely one of our favorite parts of the trip.

There were so many flowers out there and the lavender smelled soooo good!

There were fields and fields of lavender!

This is at the Dockside Grill at the John Wayne Marina where we ate for our anniversary dinner. The food was okay but it lacked the cajun spices!

The made a really good seafood bisque though.

Crescent Lake - the water was absolutely gorgeous!

Crescent Lake

The sunset over Hurricane Ridge.

The view from Hurricane Ridge

The sun set at like 9:00 so it was a late night for us.

The Seattle skyline from the space needle where we ate lunch before our flight on Saturday

Yep we ate lunch at the top of that thing! It spins around while you eat so you get to see the entire view of the city.

The moon over Seattle

Sunset over Seattle - we were surprised by how nice of a city Seattle is.

A Bug In My Arm

2009-07-22T17:52:00.003-05:00

Last week it took them nine IV sticks to get a vein that would work for my chemo. And the vein they got was really tiny so they had to pump everything slowly. This week, they stopped sticking me after 3 tries. So I caved in and finally agreed to get a port in my arm I had already tried to have a PICC line placed but that didn't work and I've had two central lines on separate occasions while in the hospital but both times they had to come out before I left because of the risk of infection since they were only temporary. So, apparently it's about the size of a quarter and it right under my skin in the inside of my upper left arm. They didn't put my under for it, just gave me Versed and Fentanyl, but they couldn't give me very much because my blood pressure was ridiculously low, like 80s/50s. After I got the port I went and got my chemo. It was much quicker, that's for sure - no more searching for veins or burning veins from some meds.

So, today is the day after chemo and I'm feeling good as usual. Tomorrow is usually when the fun kicks in. I'm just staying on top of my meds and all that for now and really hoping for a good week!

We leave for WASHINGTON STATE on MONDAY! Yay vacation. I'm really really excited! I'll write more later!

I'm Huggable Again!

2009-07-11T22:42:00.004-05:00

Just a quick update that we are home (we have been for a few days now) and readjusting to non-hospital living. The boys are here with us and Edgar is so happy to see Warner. He goes nuts when Warner gets home from work and Warner just has to look at him and his tail wags. Any time that Warner says "Good Boy" to either dog, Edgar's tail wags uncontrollably. When I say it, I get nothing. This all goes back to when Edgar was a puppy and Ruekie made sure to let him know that I was his and Edgar had to stay away - so he clung to Warner.

So, I no longer have C-Diff, although I'm still dealing with some lingering symptoms, and my white blood cell count is getting higher - it wasn't 100% when I left the hospital but it was definitely higher than it was.

We've had a few visitors the past two days. Dawn brought the kiddos by yesterday for a few hours and we just hung out on my bed and the floor. The dogs definitely enjoyed all the attention from Micah hugging and petting them and Molly and Mason throwing toys for them. Anne and Andy and their two kiddos came by today for a little bit to say hi and to bring us some awesome gifts that I would show you on here but you'd be jealous and we don't want that. Seriously though, they are pretty awesome.

Anne asked me how much I weigh right now and I didn't know at the time so I decided to hop on the scale to see if I gained or lost in the hospital and I'm up to a whopping 125. Yeah, I'm getting there...slowly.

Chemo on Monday!

Can't Touch This

2009-07-01T17:41:00.002-05:00

I am still hanging out in the hospital - getting pumped full of tons of stuff, potassium, antibiotics, iron, and I got blood over the past weekend among other things. I came in for dehydration and ended up with a million this wrong with me. While here, My stomach tubes started hurting really bad and draining really bad around around them so I have them mega-bandaged. On top of that I developed severe diarrhea, and I mean severe. And on top of ALL of that my white blood cell count bottomed out. So, they began running a million tests and running scans. They thought there might be an abscess in my stomach but a CT scan ruled that out and just showed some colitis and inflammation, which was possibly causing some of the tube pain. Then they found out I have Cdiff so I was put in contact isolation - no one can touch me without wearing gloves because I am super contagious. I think I freaked Warner out last night because when he came in I was asleep and he didn't know about the cdiff yet, so he tried to kiss me, and I woke up real fast and yelled " Don't Touch Me!" He jumped back and gave me a crazy look so I had to explain it all to him. I'm on antibiotics for everything as well, so hopefully I'll be better soon.

So, I have colitis, inflammation, CDiff, and I'm neutropenic...WOOHOO!

And We're Back...

2009-06-26T20:33:00.002-05:00

I'm not sure which is worse, being back in the hospital, or getting really good care because we know all the nurses. Stephanie hasn't been feeling as good as she had previously the past couple of days, so her mom called me today after she had thrown up a couple of times. I called the doctor's office and was eventually told to bring her on in. Stephanie's doctor is out of town, but his partner that is on-call determined (rather quickly) that Stephanie was not only dehydrated, but dehydrated enough to put her in the hospital...again. So here we are, Stephanie is getting IV fluids and watching "What Not To Wear" and I'm not doing much at all.

Grace and Peace.

The Latest

2009-06-21T19:09:00.003-05:00

I finally weigh 120 pounds and I've also eaten two pieces of toast and a few bites of scrambled eggs (yesterday and today). There's my update for today.

Much of the Same

2009-06-19T23:07:00.002-05:00

I'm still alive. I just haven't been up for posting much lately and honestly, not much is going on to post about. I had a series of doctors appointments this week that turned into marathon appointments by the end of them. My appointment with Heels was about 3 hours behind schedule or at least, that's how long it took and about 2 hours and 50 minutes of it was waiting. Usually we try to get the first appointment in the morning because we know that she backs up, but we scheduled this appointment a week in advance so we took what we got. I had my chemo appointments on Thursday and I ended up needed potassium for my blood so what was supposed to be 3 hours turned into 9. Yes, NINE. They have to infuse the potassium slow because of my small veins and potassium is really bad about tearing up veins and it burns as well. So my bag of potassium took about 5 hours to go in. Yeah, I needed a good bit of potassium I guess.

I have next week off from chemo which will be nice, but I do like getting the fluids when I go - they seem to perk me up some. The trips to and from the doctors offices seem to wear me out the most - so I won't be missing that at all. When I go for chemo I get to lay in a bed during treatment because I get benadryl with the Erbitux so it knocks me out and I sleep for a good bit during treatment. I enjoy the special treatment.

I'm still weak but I think I'm getting stronger, at least a little bit. My legs are super skinny and Warner calls them my matchstick legs. I gotta get some meat back on them things! I think I am gaining weight, at least I know I'm not losing it. I can tell I've got a little more fat on my stomach right now and my face is filling out more and more.

We don't have any big plans this weekend. My dad is coming up tomorrow to hang out and Paula mentioned maybe coming up? I just plan on lounging around as usual since I'm in my after days from chemo. Hopefully I'll be okay tomorrow and not too bad on Sunday which is usually one of the worst days as far as nausea goes. I did get an anti-nausea patch for my arm because I've been having a good bit of nausea when I should be feeling good during the week - mostly in the early mornings / almost the middle of the night. So, hopefully the patch will help some with that.

For now I'm going to stop rambling, take a Phenergan and head to bed. Have a good night!

One Week

2009-06-13T21:32:00.002-05:00

Well, I officially ignored the blog for a week and I still have nothing to say. I have been really tired since being home and pretty much spend a lot of my time sleeping. Mom has been at the house hanging out this past week and she went home tonight for a break and she'll be back on Monday morning to fall back into the routine of giving me meds and such - what a fun life! My dad gets to come by about twice a week as does my brother, to visit, so I get to see them a good bit as well. We got the dogs back today - we had my dad keeping them a little longer until we got adjusted to being back home. So, Charlie brought them up tonight - Warner was really happy to see them, as was I - I just can't get on the floor with them or anything so it isn't as fun! That's it for news around here right now. Everything is still the same as far as I know - but that really isn't much these days! Oh yeah, Hal says to let you all know that she is working on the bracelets and waiting for materials to come in. So, I'll keep you posted on those as I find out more! Oh well, I'm off to bed. Hope you all are having a good weekend and I'll try and update more often on here.

Sprite and Gingerale

2009-06-07T14:30:00.003-05:00

quick update I finally got home last night. i spent something like 15 days total in the hospital with my surgery for my SMA. I have a tube in my intestines, one draining my stomach, and staples up the middle - from the surgery. Hopefully I'll toughen up and get better soon. I'm still hurting a good bit from all the incisions and my home pain med isn't working like it does through an IV at the hospital! So, there's a long needed update I guess. Not too many details though. Anyone want to drop off any pain med gifts (via IV or shot)? I'm also really weak so not much phone talking for me - you won't be able to understand me!

More later - I've had two sprites and two gingerales today....

End of Week Two

2009-05-31T09:52:00.002-05:00

Stephanie has been in the hospital for 13 days this time. Right now there isn't a discharge date in sight, but the doctors are monitoring her daily. She is technically due for chemo again on Friday, we haven't heard whether or not it will be delayed again. So out of the past 42 days Stephanie has spent 24 in the hospital. Hopefully next time wil be much better.

Grace and Peace.

Another Surgery Down

2009-05-25T18:02:00.002-05:00

Stephanie had surgery today to correct the SMA Syndrome she's been suffering from the past month. Originally we hoped it could be corrected laproscopically, unfortunately that wasn't the case. The doctor made a small incision and basically removed the contents of her abdomen and put them back in lower to remove the small intestine from the area where the areteries were pinching together.
Everything went well and Stephanie is now recovering. Unfortunately she can't swallow anything, which is really tough for someone as addicted to ice as she has become. She also has a PCA pump again, which is a pretty good thing for her.
In less important news we got moved yesterday to a larger room with a stretcher for me to sleep on. Not quite as nice as the original room she was in a few weeks ago, which was pretty much a suite, but still much nicer than the pull out couch to sleep on.

Shining A Little Light on The Subject Matter Of My Rare Diseases

2009-05-23T23:15:00.005-05:00

Well, It seems like I've kept everyone in the dark as to what has been going on! I'll try to keep a coherent thought going on here, but just know you are forewarned. I had chemo on Friday and it was really no big deal. My doctor ordered a ton more fluids to try and stay ahead of all the problems I was having the first time around. It seemed to work like a charm. I woke up and ate some yogurt and milk and then had some broccoli and potato pureed soup. It had become a staple. Well, I did pretty well. I ended up staying in bed all day on Sunday quite nauseous and sleeping and popping pills as I could. I was up for most of the night Sunday night with my bucket, unable to keep anything down, including water.

So, Monday morning we called to go in to the oncology unit for fluids (my bloodwork showed I was barely dehydrated so it wasn't that!) So, I got some zofran, ativan, decadron, and fluids. After all that I still wasn't feeling well, so they went ahead and admitted me. I again had my stomach pumped (it's still being pumped as I write this). I guess it was later Monday that I had a bunch more tests run and I was woken up on Tuesday with the results??? Or maybe they did all the testing on Tuesday? Or Monday afternoon at some point saying they needed to run more tests to confirm if it really is my SMA again, because usually when they're certain they're right they're usually wrong, but they are definitely right this time. I apparently have this huge blockage on my small intestines. So, long story short for the night, I haven't been able to eat anything my mouth since Monday except liquids because they get pumped right back out...which means yes, I have a NG tube in my nose to my stomach.

On Monday I will be having surgery to correct the problem by moving my small intestines out of the way and by putting a feeding tube in my stomach and my small intestines to make me gain weight faster.

But regardless, I'll finish the story tomorrow, it's bed time now!!!

2009-05-15T13:11:00.003-05:00

Sitting in the chemo room hanging out watching the storm and

playing on the computer and thinking about taking a nap.

Warner thinks he's a patient today. He's taking advantage of the

snacks that I can't eat yet and the empty recliners for once.

For the first time ever there's a younger girl in the chemo room but she's at the other end of the room and sleeping. It's been a pretty uneventful day so far which is definitely a good thing! I'll post a better picture of the bump above my eye later on. It's not too bad but it definitely hurts. I took a Vicodin last night when it happened because it made my neck hurt pretty bad and I woke up in the middle of the night when the pill had worn off and I fully felt the effects of hitting the cement full force with my whole body! Oh well, enjoy the pictures for now!

Stunt Woman Training

2009-05-14T18:56:00.005-05:00

(me before work this morning)

Chemo Tomorrow.

I need to get about 4-5 hours of entertainment together tonight so I can have something to do while I sit there. Basically I just have to remember my computer!

In other news, I started my training as a stuntwoman today. Ha. I completely face planted it today on the cement. I had the boys outside going to the bathroom in the garden off the leash. Ruekie wouldn't stop whining and I didn't know when Warner would be home since he was running errands, so I took them out. Well, a big ol guy comes walking by with his little bitty yippie chihuahua and the boys of course wanted to go make a friend - Big Guy was not a fan. So, I started to run after the boys and my leg gave out since I am so weak and I apparently can't run. Well, down I went face first in to the ground. Luckily there were some guys across the way yelling at the boys and asking if I was okay, so it all worked out. So apart from a headache and some bumps and bruises and one really good bump on my eyebrow everything is fine. The boys are in mega trouble though and have been kenneled since the incident.

The bump above my right eye (the computer flips the images)

Not much else is going on really. I worked half days all week which allowed me to get back in to the swing of things and get a few things done and to meet the million new people that are running around the offices now. Food is going about the same with a little improvement in the past two days. Yesterday I told Warner I wanted peas and mashed potatoes but he didn't get the message until he got home, so he went back out to get me KFC mashed potatoes and then to the grocery store to get me peas (but he bought the wrong kind, he got frozen and I like my peas to be canned - he was just trying to be healthier, but I'm not sure what's healthy about neon frozen peas). So that was my first adventurous meal. Then tonight Warner and I had pancakes for dinner so I'm hoping they stay down! I've been eating some applesauce and tapioca pudding as well. So hopefully that pizza is coming soon! HA!

I saw Heels yesterday and Dr. Bienvenu had filled her in on my SMA which was a good thing because I really expecting a lecture for losing 20 pounds. So, it was a good visit. She checked my mouth and all that and we talked for a while. Mell was in there because she had just found out about my cancer returning, so she was fussing at me for not telling her. They both agreed that I looked gorgeous bald and with a scarf on. Heels fussed at me for not telling her I was in the hospital. I thought for sure Dr. Bienvenu would tell her, but apparently not. I told her I next time I would definitely tell her, but hopefully there wouldn't be a next time!

I'm still keeping you all in the dark about my big surprise! I'll tell you all soon. I promise.

Working Woman

2009-05-12T18:02:00.002-05:00

I went back to work yesterday. It was really good to get out of the house but man by the time 2:00 rolled around, I was pooped and declared it quitting time. Today I decided to quit at lunch which was a much better situation all around. Monday I got a snowball on my way home, ate some of it and then crashed for the rest of the afternoon. Today I just slept for a little while sitting on the couch. Not much else is going on right now. I'll have to write a post about the surprise Warner gave me last night, but for now I'm going to leave you all guessing as to what it is. My new food is tapioca pudding - it has pieces in it. So I'm pretty excited about that because I really like tapioca pudding. Oh well, just wanted to let you all know we are still around!!!

Bracelets

2009-05-08T14:30:00.002-05:00

Due to the overwhelming support for the bracelets we are going to set a deadline for tomorrow for orders so Hal can order supplies and get them made. So if you want one, or know someone who might, get that in to me by tomorrow! When I get a final count, I will send out an email to everyone who has ordered one with my address for sending the money and all that jazz.

In other news I had my doctors appointment today and everything is looking good. He decided to wait a week for chemo so I have some more time to gain weight. I think I am going to try and go back to work on Monday, at least for a half day - I get pretty bored during the day.

Soup Soup Soup

2009-05-07T13:48:00.002-05:00

Just letting you all know I'm still alive - bird legs and all. Not much exciting is going on. Just eating soup and watching reruns of Unsolved Mysteries. And so you know how awesome my husband is, he gave up his lunch break today to go to Walmart and buy me soup (we were mostly out) and pudding. AND he bought me flowers AND he came cooked me the soup when he got home before he went back to work. He also shaved my head last night for me. That's pretty awesome. But don't worry, I let him buy a new video game the other night, so he's at least getting spoiled a little bit! My mom is bringing me some soups on Saturday that she has cooked, so I'm looking forward to having something different.

We will find out tomorrow at my doctors appointment if I will have chemo tomorrow or not. I guess it depends on how my doctor thinks I'm doing!

Support / Awareness Bracelets

2009-05-06T15:25:00.004-05:00

My friend Hal approached me the other day with the idea of making a bracelet for me, like the one pictured above. It will be on a red rope because red and white are the colors for Oral Cancer Awareness. The beads are silver and the center bead will have an "S" on it for Stephanie. To cover the cost of supplies for the bracelet, each bracelet will cost 5-10 dollars. If you would like one of these bracelets or if you have any questions about them, let me know by either leaving a comment or emailing me at sobradley@gmail.com. If you leave a comment please make sure you leave your name and email address so I know who to contact and how to contact you.

Whole Foods

2009-05-06T12:48:00.005-05:00

Two nights ago Warner and I ventured out for a very quick trip to Whole Foods. I get tired really fast right now so we tried to make the trip as fast as we could. I would sit down when I could and stayed focused on what I was looking for when I was walking. I wore my mango scarf in the store because I knew it would be freezing cold in there - otherwise I probably would have just gone bald because I'm lazy. While we were walking and I was contemplating taking a sitting break, a lady asked me how I was feeling, while tugging on her wig. Apparently she was fighting cancer as well. She pointed out some foods that she likes to eat, we thanked her for the ideas but we informed her of my stomach issues, to which she thought I meant chemo nausea. We tried to explain it to her but she didn't really understand so we let it go. Anyway, it was a nice conversation for a few minutes and then it just got weird. We cut the conversation short becuase I really did need to go sit down by this point. She hugged me (and if you know me, I'm not a huggy person at all) and then she told me she loved me. It was all a little too personal and touchy for me, I much prefer the weird looks from non-cancer people, but hopefully it made her day.

Okay, and now for some pictures for Dawn to reward her for reading the blog!!!!

This is my mango scarf - it's a little big on my head, but it's probably my favorite right now. It's slightly heavier weight but it's made of stretchy material so I like it.

This is my flashy scarf. I didn't realize how glittery it was when I bought it but I'll wear it for fancy occasions! This one is the same material as the mango scarf.

This is my lightest weight scarf and it has butterflies on it. It will be good to wear when I'm outside when it's hot since it's so lightweight.

I have picked out a couple more scarves that I am going to get I just have to get around to ordering them. Other than that, not much is going on around here. I'm just eating and trying to get fat...or at least gain some weight. I bought some soup at Whole Foods and my mom made me some soups - but they are all quaranteened right now so I guess it may be a couple days until I get the soup. A guy at my brothers work got the flu Monday and apparently my mom hasn't been feeling too good this week.

Basically right now I eat something every few hours - usually yogurt, soup, or milk, or whatever I can find. I don't have many snack ideas, so if anyone has any good ideas, please pass them along! I don't really like ice cream that much and I am way beyond tired of jello! I also prefer juice to smoothies (I'm not too crazy about frozen things I guess - I just put lots of ice in my drinks). Well, that's all I've got for now...enjoy the pictures!

Brownie Batter

2009-05-03T20:48:00.003-05:00

So, I had the revelation tonight that I can eat batter! I obviously haven't tried this theory out yet and it may not settle well in my stomach - but batter is kind of liquid, right? Cake batter, brownie batter, etc.... I think it's a genious idea. Okay maybe not. Maybe I'll just lick the bowl if someone makes brownies or a cake or something - I'm not going to sit down and eat the entire box of mix.

In other news, I am tubeless now! My NJ tube got clogged this morning and we spent the entire morning trying to unclog it. When we finally talked to the doctor, she told me to go ahead and pull it out since it was no longer usable. Yeah, for ME to PULL it OUT of my nose. On my own. So I did. It was either do it on my own, let Warner do it, or wait until tomorrow and go to the hospital to have it taken out - so Warner convinced me to go ahead and take it out on my own at home. And man did it hurt when it got to the end because the end part is slightly larger than the rest of the tube. They had trouble finding a tube that was small enough for my nose when they put the tube in so it was really tight, which obviously made it painful when I took the tube out. But the good news is that the tube is out and no longer irritating my throat and nose. Now I have to work extra hard to gain weight so I don't have to have the tube put back in.

I'll have to take a better picture of myself "tubeless" but for now you'll have to deal with the one above - I snapped it really quickly with the computer so I could show off my lack of tubes!

Paula came by and visited me today, as did my parents, and Warner's mom was also here this weekend. So we had quite a few people hanging around today! I'll have to write more about all that later. It's time for bed now!

Weight Changes

2009-05-02T12:11:00.004-05:00

Here are a couple of pictures over the past two weeks so you can see the changes I've gone through with being sick and everything. I didn't realize how much weight I lost until I started looking at pictures. I had asked Warner to buy me a pair of comfy pants from Gap while I was in the hospital and I remember fussing at him because he bought me a medium "for the length" (as if a medium would be too big in the waist) and I thought there would be no way they would fit my waist (I usually wear a large) but he was right and the medium fit me quite well. And for those of you who thought I had no butt before all of this?!?! You should see me now! Haha.

This was taken April 16th, my first day back in the chemo chair.

This was taken April 27th after I had been in the hospital for a while. You can see how much weight I've lost! And this was even when I was on the better side of being sick!

Me today!! My brother completely shaved my head last night since all the little pieces were falling out! I can't wait to get rid of the feeding tube so I can take a decent picture! But I definitely look a whole lot healthier in this picture than I do in the previous one - I'm still pretty skinny though! And in spite of my head always being cold, the no hair thing is pretty convenient!

Maybe Someday I'll Be Normal

2009-05-01T14:36:00.003-05:00

In case you were wondering why I've been in the hospital, I'm pretty sure this is the technical term for it all :

Superior Mesenteric Artery Syndrome

And according to everything I've read online about it, it's pretty rare! I like to keep the doctors' on their toes!

Freedom

2009-05-01T09:44:00.003-05:00

I'm breaking out today...feeding tube and all. The feeding tube should be gone in two weeks and hopefully I'll be well on my way to eating pizza by then! I do still have some questions for my doctor before I leave, so I won't be outta here until around lunch time! And I have to get some food ideas as to what exactly counts at liquids so I know what I can eat when I get home.

Hey Look!

2009-05-01T07:07:00.002-05:00

New Fuzzy Socks!!!

They're fuzzy like my head! Not much news to report. I'm allowed to drink chocolate milk now and today I think I get to try a different type of soup - which is awesome because you can only eat chicken, beef, and vegetable broth, for so many meals and if anyone wants "jello" let me know. They bring you like 3 containers of it at a time and it's not even real jello because there's not any gelatin in it! Plus I just don't eat jello that much and usually it's a little warm when they bring it to you. If I'm going to eat jello it better be super cold. Anyway, that's my news today. Hopefully I'll get out of here today and I gotta keep trying to gain weight. This morning I weighed 131. It's a learning process for me trying to figure out how to gain weight healthily - usually I can just eat cake and cookies and call it a day! But since I can't eat any of that stuff, I'm starting from scratch!

Oh yeah, my stubblies on my head are starting to fall out so I'm going to have Charlie shave it all completely off when I get outta here! And I am sooooo ready to go swimming soon!!!!

The Main Attraction

2009-04-28T21:24:00.010-05:00

Molly getting it started. This was her art class for today - artistic expression! And Dawn had to fly home really fast and hide all the scissors and clippers from the kiddos!

So, a totally unrelated, yet, extremely cute picture of Micah today!

Anne made me strike a pose....the orange thing is a temporary feeding tube...more on that later.

Molly and I examining the final masterpiece

Everyone shampooing my stubble after we shaved it!

My haircut crew!

Mason just kept telling my I was bald. It was hillarious!

Half WAY through!

Because I know everyone has been anxiously awaiting my beautiful bald pictures, I'm finally going to put a few up. There won't be much dialog in this post because I just got some serious pain meds for my nasal tube that they messed with today. So, enjoy the pictures! I had the most awesome group here at the hospital helping me shave my head. Okay, I'll have to post more later. I'm fading FAST! These drugs are crazy!

Hair Today, but Gone Tomorrow!

2009-04-27T12:34:00.002-05:00

Dawn and Molly are going to meet me up at the hospital around lunch time for a some good old head shaving action! My hair has finally started coming out in clumps and I was hoping to shave it all off at home and then go swimming or something, but since I'm boarded up here in this swanky hospital bedroom until I gain some weight, the party animals are coming to me! I had a nasal tube placed this morning after having my stomach drained all night long - about - 8 liters worth of fluid total - not counting what I threw up when I they put the tube down originally. I have to go back in the morning to have the tube adjusted because there was still a good big of air in my stomach so they couldn't get the tube in the right place to get me fat! So, for today, I'm siting skinny chewing on ice chips and juice waiting for lunch, trying to not eat too much so I don't fill my stomach up too much.

So, technically for anyone who may be concerned. My problems were not chemo related at all. Basically I lost too much weight and I have two arteries pushing on my small intestines blocking anything from passing beyond that point - hence the constant nausea and vomiting. As soon as the naso - tube is fit right, I'll be able to start putting some weight on and things should get back to normal! And I reallllly just want to go swimming right now! Soon enough I guess! I bought three head scarves today, so keep a look out for those, almost with pictures from tomorrow's shaving extravaganza! Oh yeah, I totally had no idea what day today was - seriously thought it was the weekend...not Monday. Woops. Oh and Warner is at work for a half day today...I think he needs a break from taking care of me!!!! oh well, lunch time...we'll see how this goes!

A Medical Mystery

2009-04-25T22:07:00.003-05:00

Stephanie is the first patient in very long time that the doc has had to admit due to chemotherapy. But now we are over a week past the treatment, and why Stephanie is still feeling so bad and can't keep anything down is a mystery. The effects of the chemo should have worn of by now. Of course with all the medicine she had she never should have been this bad off. When we saw the doctor on Wednesday he was shocked to have heard from the on-call doctor that Stephanie was so sick.
In better news, the cancer center floor here at the Lake has much better ammenities than either the other time Stephanie was at the Lake or the hospital we just left. There's an attached room for guest's that has a "real" bed (it's a hospital stretcher bed). It's nice also because I'm not in the way of all the middle of the night visitors. They still wake me up because although there is a door between the two rooms I leave it open just in case Stephanie needs something. She likes that I leave it open because when she wakes up at four in the morning it is apparently a very fun and interesting game to throw ice at the sleeping Warner.
Hopefully tomorrow she will be keeping some food down and be discharged.
Grace and Peace

It's Official, I'm Admittable

2009-04-23T17:00:00.002-05:00

Well, I officially got admitted to the Mary Bird Perkins inpatient unit hopefully for just a night. The rooms are nice and the nurses are nice as well. My phone decided to go swimming, something I'm dying to do as well. So, hopefully I'll be out of here soon and living it up by the pool in the shade! More info later.

Jailbirds, But I"m Not Flying To Fast

2009-04-21T18:57:00.004-05:00

We finally broke free from the hospital today while I was feeling a little more normal only to spend the rest of the night at home waiting around for more prescriptions to be filled so life can get back to a little more normal now. This has not been a fun weekend. Here's hoping this round of meds will do the trick!

Day 2 and Some Facts For You!

2009-04-17T11:56:00.002-05:00

I slept through the entire night last night for the first time in quite some time - usually I wake up with my shoulder killing me and pop more pain pills. I guess the combination of the pain pills and all the other drugs from the day knocked me out cold from about 11 to 5:30. This was a good thing and a bad thing. I try and stay on schedule with the antinausea meds round the clock so the nausea doesn't sneak in on me because, yes, you can get sick right after getting your chemo but you're not in the clear for a few days. From what I gather, you have about 3 days of feeling bad before you feel better, and anything that I can do to keep from feeling bad over the next few days, I'm going to do it. At 5:30 I popped my pills and then I popped a few more around 11:30 and so far I'm doing alright. I feel like I'm on the brink of being sick, but I think as long as I keep on the meds and on the hydration, I'll be alright. I've slept the majority of the day away, only waking up when Warner came home for lunch and for a little bit when I take more drugs. And obviously now. I've started looking at chemo scarves, because in this blasted New Orleans summer sun, my head is going to FRY! I've found some really cute, kind of expensive ones so I'm still looking for now. I emailed my friend Haley, who lives in some place that probably doesn't exist except for her mind (just kidding, she lives in the land of far far away and EVERYONE knows that place exists) since she went through the same chemo I'm getting. She gave me some good advice as to what she went through. She started losing her hair right around 2 weeks, so we'll see how I make out with that. So, it's really nice to have her as a reference. Anyway, there's not really much more going on around here. Just doing the cancer thing again.

Closing Down The Chemo Room

2009-04-16T14:45:00.003-05:00

After our appointment with Heels yesterday we were told my oncologist would be calling tomorrow (today) to schedule an appointment to talk about treatment plans. Well, they did call and we did come in for an appointment and we did go over all the treatment options. And then he asked when I wanted to start. So we asked a few more questions and here we are, closing down the chemo room. We've been in the chemo room since 11 this morning and I still have about 2+ hours left. Treatment time will go faster from now on - they have to go slow on the first day to make sure you don't have a bad reaction to anything.

Basically I go once every three weeks for treatment (I think - I'm double checking this when I leave) and I will have 6 cycles. So, I should be finished sometime in July. I am getting a crazy combination of drugs. I'm getting 5FU, Taxotere, and Cisplatin (which is the parent drug to Carboplatin which is what I had last time around). I will lose my hair in a few weeks, but don't worry I've got some really cute scarves picked out. Aside from the main mass in my left lung, I do have some nodal involvement in my abdominal area along with another spot on my lower right lung, and the knot on my shoulder is also and tumor, as I pretty much expected, but the main concern is still the left lung. Surprisingly, my lungs are still clear whenever the doctors listen to my breathing which is good. Another good thing is that these tumors popped up extremely fast - the doctors pulled all my films and reconfirmed that there were no traces of cancer on the past films. Since the tumors grew fast it is a good sign that hopefully they will respond to the treatment better. I also got some drugs at first this time for high calcium levels in my blood, which is common with this type of cancer in the lungs. So, the meds will lower the calcium levels and give me more energy. I've noticed in the past week and a half or so that my energy levels have been dropping fast, so this should hopefully fix all of that.

Since I've been here so long today, I've seen the majority of the people who have been here come and go. I talked to the guys next to me for a few minutes while Warner went to get lunch and my computer, and a book for him. He started the conversation out by saying "Man, you're awfully young for this." I wanted to tell him to tell me something I didn't know, but instead I just told him it was my second time around. He didn't stay for very long, he was just getting the home pouch / 24 hour treatment thing changed out. I've been listening to the two guys across the room from me and both of them were geologists, which is pretty neat. I still haven't seen anyone under the age of 40, maybe even 50, in here. So, maybe that's why everyone remembers me.

And to clear up any confusion. I don't have lung cancer. I have pulmonary metastasis to my lung from my tongue. So, I have squamous cell carcinoma of the tongue, spread to my lung. And they treat it the same way they would if it were on my tongue. So, I have tongue cancer on my lung.

Well, I've got about 2 hours left, so I'm going to go do a crossword puzzle or something.

Round Two

2009-04-15T20:55:00.002-05:00

So, today did not quite end up the way we hoped it would. All we know right now is that my biopsy came back positive for cancer. We have an appointment tomorrow with my oncologist to discuss treatment options and all that. So, that's all we know for now. We'll keep you all updated as more info comes in.

On another note, I had my regularly scheduled Pet/CT scan today and they give me a shot to dry up my head and neck which has been a pain in the buttocks all day with my mouth being dry! They also gave me Valium to make me drowsy so I would hold still through the scans and I have been completely out of it for a good part of the day. I'm sure Warner could come up with a few stories.

Okay, I still need to update on New Jersey at some point.

Big 'Ol Scary Needles

2009-04-14T19:32:00.004-05:00

So, obviously I survived my biopsy. The doctors were really good about giving me meds whenever I asked them during the procedure. The whole biopsy was done on the cat scan machine. They basically took several scans, marked my chest where they were going to stick the 5 bajillion needles in, and scanned again. I seriously had at least 10 shots of numbing stuff and each needle they put in was longer than the first. It was pretty crazy. I made the mistake of asking the doctor early on about what he was doing, so when he was about to insert the biopsy needle he showed me and explained to me how it worked. I asked for more Versed at this point. Then, they would stick the biopsy needle in my chest, scan me, and then take the biopsy when they confirmed it was in the right spot. This was repeated three more times.

Then I was wheeled in to recovery for two hours. During those two hours I was on bed rest, which apparently means you can't get up at all. I mean seriously, AT ALL. I really had to go to the bathroom after the procedure so in walks the nurse with the bed pan, to which I responded, no really, I just need you to take off the blood pressure cuff, I can seriously walk across the hall to the bathroom. Well, needless to say, after arguing with everyone for a few minutes, I held it for two hours. There was no way I was going to use a bed pan when I was perfectly capable of walking 10 feet to the bathroom. Been there, done that, and it's no fun.

Anyway, the day after I realized that the pain in my chest was probably comparable to being shot in the chest with a bullet. Man am I ever grateful for Vicodin.

On another note, I asked the guy who did my surgery if I could keep my biopsy needle. He originally said it would be fine, but then the other guys involved didn't think it was a good idea. So, Warner took a picture of it instead.

So, I will leave you with a picture of the biopsy needle and we'll update about New Jersey another day. Try having that thing stuck in your chest 4 times.

Another One Down

2009-04-07T22:24:00.002-05:00

Stephanie has successfully made it through another trip to Our Lady of the Lake Regional Medical Center. It's sad that not only have we started recognizing people at the hospital, but they have started recognizing us, specifically the surgery check in nurses. The biopsy went well, that is to say Stephanie had it and is sitting beside me at home, not in the hospital. No results yet, we don't expect those until next week, possibly not until Wednesday (apparently there's a holiday this weekend and pathologists take time off for it too).
In other news Stephanie and I will be flying off to New Jersey/New York bright and early Thursday morning. I will get to meet Steph's paternal grandmother, and we are planning on seeing Kaylie on Saturday, returning to Gonzales on Monday.

This Videa Makes Me Laugh

2009-04-07T09:35:00.001-05:00

This is pretty much what Edgar does to Ruekie ALL day long. And it makes me laugh.

Biopsy Take 2

2009-04-03T22:41:00.003-05:00

My biopsy is scheduled for Tuesday. As long as everything goes well I will be out of the hospital that day. There is always a possibility of my lung collapsing and that would mean I would have to spend a night in the hospital. So, hopefully it goes well, because I do not appreciate being woken up every few hours at night in the hospital.

And just some general housekeeping. Please please please don't ask us how we are doing. I think we are doing quite well given the circumstances but obviously because of the circumstances we don't want to discuss our "feelings" over and over again. I try to make an effort to not think about it all because there are so many unknowns at this point and I don't want to make it all more stressful by dwelling on it. I feel the same way I did two weeks ago when this whole thing started and I'm sure I'll post on here if anything changes. Thanks.

Tomorrow I am going to the Strawberry Festival with my brother and I am looking forward to trying the strawberry dumplings that my brother talks about every year!

In An Effort To Not Let Warner Outdo Me

2009-04-02T10:31:00.005-05:00

Well, it seems my competetive streak runs deep and I wasn't going to let Warner steal the spotlight for very long. I was going to post last night, but I wanted to wait until after April Fools Day so people wouldn't think I was joking.

Two weeks ago I went to an After Hours clinic on Sunday (March 22nd) because I had a cough that was hurting my chest and my underarm was hurting. The doctor listened to my lungs and said they were clear and I had no fever but that I had bronchitis (I was never thoroughly convinced of this diagnoses, but I went with it anyway). He gave me prednisone and an antibiotic, to be on the safe side, and told me to take Mucinex as well. I had already informed him that I had been taking Mucinex and it wasn't helping, but he told me to keep taking it. So, I went home and started taking my frisbee sized antibiotics and all that. My neck muscles on my right side had been tight the week before all this but that had slowly been resolving itself. My upper back on my left side started hurting me throughout the next week, and it would wake me up at night and was just super uncomfortable. I wasn't getting any better over the week, but I knew I had an appointment with Heels on April 1st, so I was going to bring it up then. Plus, I had seen my radiation doc in the middle of March and everything checked out fine.

Fast foward a week : On Sunday morning I was coughing up mucus that had blood in it and my underarm felt bruised so I rushed my butt back to the After Hours clinic and had xrays done - all the while Kasey and Hal were sleeping at the apartment, I even made it back home before they woke up. The xrays showed a mass in my left lung, but the doctor could not tell from the xray if it was just fluid or if it was actually lung tissue and he gave me the most amazing cough medicine I have ever had in my life. Seriously, whoever invented it is a GENIOUS! He told me to follow up with my oncologist Monday morning to figure out what exactly was on the xray. Warner called Heels for me on Sunday afternoon and gave her the heads up and she scheduled a CT scan for me on Monday afternoon. On Wednesday we got the news that the CT scan confirmed there is a mass in my left lung. We won't know for sure that it is cancer until I have the biopsy sometime soon. It hasn't been scheduled yet, but it will be before next Wednesday. It was scheduled for the 9th, but we have plane tickets to New Jersey to see my Grandmother for Easter (which I'm really excited about because Warner has never met her!), so they were going to try and move the biopsy up. So, for now, that is the extent of what we know. We are just waiting for the next steps to see where we go from here. For now I'm throwing myself in to researching all things fertility and I'm going to start some super cardio workouts today, just to be on the safe side.

I do have a disk of my CT scan if any of you medical nerds are interested. It's pretty neat!

I Can't Tell Who's More Upset

2009-03-30T22:02:00.002-05:00

Me or the dogs. I went back to work on Tuesday. Robin, the burn center outpatient coordinator nurse decided that I could go back to work as long as I promised to work inside only and not sweat. This was of course REALLY BAD NEWS for the dogs. They had been enjoying staying out of their kennels all day for the previous two weeks, and all of a sudden they were caged again. I think they've handled it ok, and if not, well I'm not here to be bothered by it. I go to the doctor again tomorrow for another check up. I'm not expecting a full release back to work yet because the skin on my back is very thin and can easily be broken if I sweat and start itching and scratch. Work has been good, I got pretty tired the first few days. Sitting around at the office is hard work compared to sitting around at home. We are starting to catch up on house work even. This past weekend Kasey and Hal made it down to go see a concert, and us. We hung out a lot and didn't do much else. This is a pretty boring post so I'll quit for now. We are extremely blessed for me to have been able to be healing as fast as I am, and I hope it continues to go well.
Grace and Peace

Brain Free...I Mean...Biobrane Free!

2009-03-23T21:32:00.003-05:00

No more bandages for Warner! Yippee!!!! And the punk is reporting back to work tomorrow for light duty / indoor work for however many hours a day he can stand.

OH MAN! You Can Play Frisbee With That Thing!

2009-03-22T19:44:00.002-05:00

Warner is healing up fast - he only has the biobrane on the lower left side of his back now which is a whole lot more comfortable for him. He's also stopped draining entirely which means we don't have to put any more of the outer bandages on anymore! He's still very very red - Razorback red in fact (it gets in your blood, what can I say?) He has a doctors appointment tomorrow so we will find out about getting released to go back to work soon, even if it is only for a few hours a day - because you know what? Worker's comp stinks!

I on the other hand, have taken advantage of this opportunity of Warner being better, and have decided it is the perfect time to get what the doctors said is acute bronchitis - except I don't have a fever. I'm on a steroid and Mucinex for that and I'm on an antibiotic in hopes to keep it from turning in to anything worse since I guess I'm high risk or whatever. And seriously, my antibiotics are HUGE! Like a half an inch huge or maybe bigger. Bigger than vitamins, huge. Bigger than mucinex huge! I made the comment to Warner when we pulled them out of the bag that you could play frisbee with them because they're that big! So, hopefully this will solve my problems for now. I have a muscle relaxer for my stiff neck, but it doesn't help that much and I only take it at night. I'm considering opening up a backdoor pharmacy in the near future, so let me know if there's any type of illness you want me to get, because right now, I'm pretty loaded. Okay, maybe not because that's pretty illegal.

Maybe since I'm back on the meds you'll get some humorous posts out of me in the next 10 days...but don't hold your breath.

Just Another Day

2009-03-19T10:05:00.002-05:00

I think the past year has finally caught up with me because you know what? I'm TIRED! (maybe it's just the heater that is on in my office) And you know what else. I have a very stiff / tight neck on the right side that is keeping me from sleeping through the night right now. And you know what else? My nurse at the doctors office never called me back yesterday about my neck. Okay, I'm done.

Warner is getting better every day (duh!) which means he is bored out of his mind sitting at home all day. He even mentioned that the xbox is getting boring. *GASP* Mr. Xbox is tired of his xbox? Say it isn't so! His back is drying out and the outside edges are starting to burn (along with his entire stomach) but he still has one area on his lower back that is still draining. Hopefully soon that will stop and he will be able to wear less bandages on his torso. He's still got a long way to go with the healing process but he's getting there. We are going to get out of the house this evening to see how Warner does in the car and then we'll decide if we can make the drive to Arkansas this weekend - but we aren't holding our breath about it. Warner has been taking fewer pain meds which means he's not quite as funny anymore - sad day for me!!! But he has been getting up and doing more around the house, which has been super helpful! Apparently the boys are super pathetic with him home and spend most of the morning curled up next to him - they're going to go through some withdrawals once Warner goes back to work! Okay, well that's all the news I've got for today!

Oh Wow...It Has Freckles!

2009-03-17T20:34:00.003-05:00

Warner has started itching like CRAZY which is a good thing, but it's also a pain for him because it means he's peeling...like CRAZY! And it's a pain for me because it means I'm transitioning from doing 5 loads of laundry a day of towels (from the draining) to following him around with the vacuum cleaner as he makes our house look like a winter wonderland. So. Today as we were coming home from his doctor's appointment, he was peeling a piece of skin off his arm (because he has significantly less bandages on there now that it is slightly dried up) when he pulled off a rather large piece and exclaimed, " Oh wow! It has freckles!" Umm...gross!

The boys from the office came by this evening to hang out - which meant tons of video game playing and boy talk and now it's pretty much bed time! So goodnight!

Germies and Burnies

2009-03-15T19:09:00.004-05:00

Here's the conversation Warner and I had earlier this week:

W: I can't get germies on my burnies

S: What? Why can't you get germies on your burnies?

W: Because they don't ROTATE! I can't get germies on my burnies because the germies don't rotate

S: Ohhh, okay. Do you know what you are saying?

W: Yes, but I don't know what I mean.

And that my friends is the kind of effect that Lortab can have on the toughest of guys!

In other news, Warner's parents and sister were here for a quick visit this weekend. It was fun, and Warner's mom embarrassed the heck out of us at dinner last night (but it was definitely a fun dinner). The boys have been moping around because they miss having tons of people to play with and they love the marathon walks that they get to go on when Mrs. Susan is in town!

In Sickness And In Health

2009-03-14T11:38:00.002-05:00

I think I'm ready to try out the "In Health" part.

Yes, I Think Another T-Shirt is in Order

2009-03-12T19:29:00.002-05:00

As you can imagine things have been rough around here again the past few days. I'm doing well physically, the doctors think I will heal very well and will not suffer too much. Hopefully on Tuesday when we go back the bandages will be completely stuck to my burns and I can shower again. I think the official number is around 28% of my body was burned with 1st and 2nd degree burns. Thankfully there were no 3rd degree burns which would have required surgery. The other guy who was also burned, but more severely, was released from the hospital today. I will be continuing care at the Baton Rouge General Burn Unit until I'm healed completely, as will he. I would appreciate your continued prayers for the family of Armando Garza, who did not make it through the explosion.
As Stephanie mentioned we are not allowed to talk about what happened except to the investigators, and honestly no one really knows what happened at this point. The news reports are mostly speculation, and I can't comment as to whether or not I think their speculation is correct.
Again please continue to pray for Armando's family
Grace and Peace to You
Warner

Boys Have It So Much Easier!

2009-03-12T11:04:00.003-05:00

I took a lesson from Vicki and decided to have fun with the haircut. Warner decided he liked the S so much that he's going to keep it for a while.

Yep, his face is stuck like this permanently. I warned him that it would happen!

Doctor's appointment went well today. Everything is looking good and we'll know more at the appointment on Tuesday because more healing should have taken place by then. So for now we are just hanging out!

Just Another Day In The Bradley Household

2009-03-11T20:31:00.005-05:00

His chest and back are all bandaged up as well

His singed hair.

Yes, he's rolling his eyes.

He's Cramping My Style

2009-03-11T16:46:00.003-05:00

I wish I could write more details on here, but basically I can't talk about everything that happened (other than what you hear on the news), but I CAN update you on Warner. Warner was in an explosion at his worksite yesterday, March 10th, and sustained 1st and 2nd degree burns on his entire back and his arms (mostly the left). He has 1st degree burns on his stomach and his hair, eyebrows, and eyelashes were singed. His goatee is still in tact though! He was up and about today and has played xbox a good bit as well. He's hopped up on pain pills but he's doing much better today. We have a doctor's appointment tomorrow morning and we will know some more then.

There were two other guys that were injured in the explosion. One guy was admitted for observation for his burns and the other guy had minor injuries and was released. There was also a fatality, so please say a prayer for his family. I can't even imagine what they are going through.

So there is your update for today. We are doing well, and my little Spotlight Stealer is one tough cookie!

Here is a link to an article in case you are interested. And just a disclaimer, we have read through a few articles and none of them have actually gotten all the information 100% correct but this one seems alright.

St. James Explosion

Hello God

2009-03-10T23:34:00.004-05:00

It's me again. I'm not sure it's really my place to ask, but seriously...what are You doing? Can you maybe fill me in a little, please? Because I'm not sure I really understand where you're headed with this.

Seems To Be A Trend Around Here

2009-03-08T21:28:00.002-05:00

We took my car in on Saturday to the shop to have it looked at because it has been chugging and starting really hard pretty much every time I drove it. The engine was just taking forever to turn over and it wasn't running very smooth. So, I sacrificed a morning of dress shopping and brought it in (the dress shopping is a whole different can of worms, let's just say it has been pretty much impossible for me to find anything). The guys had my car for about 3-4 hours and could find nothing wrong with it. Absolutely nothing. And guess what?!!? It hasn't had any problems since we got it home. It will probably start acting up tomorrow though. That would be just my luck.

Keeping with the same trend, I got my blood work test results back on Wednesday and guess what??? I'm normal. Relatively speaking, I guess. So we are back to square one on why I am losing weight. All my counts came back normal, CBC and all the calcium and other mineral tests they ran (like 50 boxes were checked on the order) and I don't have any infections. My thyroid is dying a slow and painful death, well, it's really not a painful death at all, but it is a slow one. Apparently it's not even to the point that we need to worry about - I mean, I'm still losing weight and all. Seeing as I didn't even know what the thyroid really did before all this, I think I'm going to miss it when it's gone. And I think Dr. High Heels is going to let me live with a non-working thyroid for a while so I can gain some weight - she would totally do that to me. Okay, maybe not, but I'll bet you she's thought about it!

I realized today that I never posted any pictures from Mardi Gras, so I'll have to get on that tomorrow.

OOOH...and HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the most amazing husband EVER! For real.

Shout Out

2009-03-08T16:00:00.002-05:00

I entered for a blog make-over giveaway from Jen Gets Fancy over at

http://jengetsfancy.blogspot.com/

She has some pretty cute stuff and if you couldn't tell my blog needs some serious love!

Anyway, I'll be back later to post more news.

Just Dress Him In Coveralls And Give Him An Oil Pan

2009-03-07T09:21:00.003-06:00

Unfortunately he didn't fix the problem with my car and it's in the shop today!

Yesterday Warner was looking at my engine to see if he could figure out what is wrong with my car when Edgar decided he was going to help by getting right in the middle of all the action. As some of you may know, Edgar is deathly paranoid about being left behind so he took advantage of the opportunity to make sure he was in the car and ready to go before we had a chance to make him get in his kennel. We coaxed him out of the engine after a few seconds and then he jumped right back in. If you click on the picture, you can see that he is soo excited because his tail was wagging when I took the picture! No extra damage was done to my car, and Edgar was fine - in fact, I think he enjoyed sitting on the hot engine.

*Disclaimer* Just so everyone knows the last post was a complete joke. Yes, I did say I wanted new in-laws, but it became a running joke over the weekend. Don't worry, I'm not going to trade in my in-laws....Yet.

I'm Taking Out A Full Page Ad In The Classifieds

2009-03-06T17:59:00.004-06:00

Two weeks ago, when my wonderful mother-in-law came to visit for the weekend, I so lovingly announced that I was beginning my search for new in-laws. I do not remember what prompted me to make this statement, but I said it nonetheless. Her response to my statement was that I would have to find a new husband as well, but rest assured, I'm keeping him, it's just new in-laws that I'm after. And so that you know my search is justified, let me tell you a little story:

A few years ago (not too many though, because we've only been married a few years and a half, and maybe it was only a year ago) we were in Alabama for some holiday, maybe Easter, but I don't remember exactly. Me, being the wonderful wife that I am, spent the morning slaving over a hot iron, ironing my husbands clothes for church. And as a sidenote - I don't iron creases in the front of pant legs or on shirt arms. Some things are just not worth the effort. So, after everything was ironed to a crisp, I brought it to Warner to put on so we could hurry up and get ready. We were all standing around waiting to go when my mother-in-law looks at my husband in his perfectly ironed outfit and says in that appalled, motherly voice, "Ooooh Warner, would you like me to iron your pants for you." Now, let me remind you that we were ALL standing around in earshot of this - cousins, aunts, uncles, Warner's grandmother, etc. Warner so wonderfully replied, "No, Stephanie has already ironed them for me." And let it be known that I have never ironed another article of clothing in her presence since then.

So, although I can't remember the exact reason I proclaimed I was searching for new in-laws, I am convinced that it was justified!

(And no, I'm really not looking for new ones - the ones I have are quite entertaining and they definitely make life more interesting!)

Dear "Home" Paula

2009-03-04T20:25:00.003-06:00

I used to think that I was above your meager attempts to influence my picture taking skills. I thought I could never be swayed. Not by your "Dear in Headlights" look or by the beautiful "Veggie Chip Contemplation" (and it's not a veggie chip at all) or your inability to smile on cue. I thought I was destined to live under the influence of "School Paula" who takes the most beautiful pictures ever and has a perfect smile every time with wide open eyes, but not possessed scary. No, I never even imagined that I would have to write about this. And then this happens:

Curse you "Home Paula," you may have won the battle, but the war is far from over!!!! But we can still be best friends, right? Paula???

Okay, my bottom lip goes super numb when it is below like 50 outside and apparently it takes away my ability to smile. Enlarge the picture. And don't tell me it's not that bad. Because it is. And I'm okay with that - I've moved on from the denial stage. But it's still bad. Really really bad. So, if you ever want to take pictures of me, make sure it's a warm cloudy day because I'm really a vampire, and I'll die in the sun. But anyway, that's our friends, Mark and Meagan who came to visit this past weekend. We had a really good time hanging out with them. I won't bore you with the details because really, all we did was eat and hang out and watch Mark play rugby. Okay, that is all. Paula, are we still friends?

Yes, Another Post About The Dogs

2009-03-04T13:24:00.003-06:00

Edgar is psycho about tennis balls. I have to hide them from him or else he will keep bringing it to you to throw, over and over and over again. And if you think you can ignore him so that he will eventually give up and go play with Ruekie, think again, this little booger is persistent. He will just keep picking the ball up and dropping it by you, or on your foot, or on the chair next to you, until you give in to the pressure.

Okay, all that was to lead in to telling you about our new game that we started a couple weeks ago and ended today. When I take the boys out to play, sometimes I bring a ball out with us to throw for them,. They don't need it, they entertain each other just fine without it, but I do like to be nice sometimes. I usually hide the ball in my pocket on the way out, or use it as bait to keep Edgar from pulling on the leash. It's funny to watch him walk sideways while staring at the ball because he will end up walking in to everything. No, he does not get that from me. By the time we are headed back inside, the ball is a slimy, slobbery, soaking wet mess and I don't want to touch it (usually about half way through I give up throwing the ball and let them chase each other for it).

So the game we started was that I would let psycho dog (Edgar) carry the ball back to the apartment. If he dropped it, I would tap a couple feet with my foot and tell him to get his ball and he would get it and proudly keep on carrying it. It worked like a charm. He would carry it the entire way back and maybe drop it once or twice and I would have him drop it on the porch outside. Well, now the game has turned into him dropping the ball every two feet while we are walking, or him throwing the ball foward and chasing after it. It would roll under cars and of course he would go nuts because he couldn't get it out. Well, game over! I had to carry that nasty, slobbery, soaking wet, drool fest back to the apartment today because it took us like 5 minutes to walk 5 feet. So what was a really good game in theory has backfired in my face! I guess the little punk is smarter than we give him credit for - he knows exactly what he is doing!

Oh, and Ruekie? Yeah, he's pretty much perfect. Except I caught him up on the bed in the middle of the night last night. The little punk.

Well Just Call Me Octomom!

2009-02-27T21:16:00.002-06:00

Man, I have such a bad habit of posting horrible pictures of myself, but check out that LOWER LIP - and this picture doesn't even do it justice! It rivals the lips of Angelina Jolie and Octomom! It looks like I got backhanded on the right side of my face (yes, that's the right side because the computer flips the images) but really it's all just from my stupid rash! This is the first time my lip has swelled up along with everything else. UGH!

Just In Time

2009-02-27T09:57:00.002-06:00

We have friends coming in this weekend for a rugby match. Warner's friend from highschool, Mark, plays rugby for Little Rock and they are playing Baton Rouge on Saturday, so of course we are going to use that as an excuse to hang out this weekend. Mark is bringing his lady friend, Meagan, with him, which will be fun for me, and he's bringing his dog Tank which will be fun for the boys. So it should be a good weekend all around! But, in case you thought things would be too perfect, have no fear - my rash is back! And this time, I have NO idea what caused it. I spent about 5 minutes outside yesterday with the boys running around but just a few days ago I spent 45 minutes outside with them (I had a picnic while they played), so it makes no sense. So, last night and today I've been itching like crazy and I have that overall crummy feeling that comes in this special two for one deal. Also, it makes my neck muscles tight which isn't a good thing because I've been fighting tight muscles on my right side for the past week or so as it is. But anyway, I'm still looking foward to the weekend.

I'm Working On It

2009-02-26T20:05:00.002-06:00

So...until I get the background figured out, just adjust your browser size to get the lines off the text of the post. HTML is kicking my butt right now.

And I really want a cookie.

Happy Birthday To Edgar!!!

2009-02-26T17:50:00.004-06:00

The punk turns ONE today! And I'm pretty sure he knew it was his birthday from the moment he woke up this morning. He kept trying to get Warner up out of bed before his alarm went off and when Warner left for work this morning BOTH dogs came charging into the bedroom and jumped on the bed - Ruekie is usually the only one that comes up to cuddle. The only problem with Edgar jumping on the bed is that he is a huge clutz and doesn't just jump up...he jumps up and stumbles across half of the bed - and this time he stepped right on my neck, smack down on the front and center. I was fine, after a few paranoid moments of thinking that he crushed my windpipe or messed something else up, and man he got in some serious trouble. But anyway, the boys got to go run around outside at lunch and that's pretty much going to be it for the birthday celebrations. Sorry the picture of Edgar is kind of blurry - I threw some celebratory Mardi Gras beads on him and he doesn't hold still for 2 seconds.

It's Called A Force Dash

2009-02-25T19:17:00.002-06:00

"....And if you knew anything about the game, you would know that!"

I'm sitting here cracking up because Warner's character on Star Wars: Force Unleashed, farts every time he does a "force dash." Or at least that's what it sounds like. The funny part is not that the character makes the noise, it's the fact that Warner so adamantly defended the farting and then scoffed at me for my lack of XBox knowledge! I'm pretty sure that the geeky guys who created the game probably sat around laughing for hours when they were playing the game because of that noise. Oh wait, gamers are waaaay too serious for nonsense like that.

Anyway, that's my random story for tonight. Aufwiedersehen! And happy thoughts about farting Xbox characters!

Needle Stick 50 Bajillion and 7...Seriously

2009-02-18T12:48:00.002-06:00

I'm actually updating, so I guess that means some life changing event has taken place since my last update...or I just went to the doctor. And yeah, I just went to the doctor. Nothing earth shattering there. Mell came out and said hi while I was in the waiting room and we chit chatted for a few minutes. As with most appointments, the first thing they do is make you get on the scale. And for me, I have the opposite problem as most people. I'm not freaking out about weighing too much or being overweight or whatnot. My big concern is that I'm going to weigh too little and get in huge trouble for it. Usually my weigh ins consist of a slight argument with the nurse about how you have to move the bottom weight to the 150 mark, which, they are ALWAYS convinced that I weigh less than that, and won't put it to 150 until they move the top weight all the way to the 149 mark and the arrow is nowhere near balanced - but they still give me a once over before they move it, as if the scale is lying. So, then I always get little comments about how I don't look like I weigh that much, and yada yada yada. I'm almost 6 feet tall, looks can be deceiving!

Anyway, moving on. At my appointment today I took a vow of silence during my weigh in and politely kept my mouth shut. With the way my weight has been lately (dropping like a rock at every appointment) I wasn't going to give my nurse any ammo for gloating about being right. And good thing I kept my vow of silence, because this week I have officially dropped below the 150 mark to 147. Now, the BMI index says that is a normal weight, but seeing as I was 168 in August and that this time last year I was 174ish - and by no means am I trying to lose the weight (just ask my coworkers who see me eat nonstop all day) - I guess it warrants some concern. So of course my doctor - the one in the heels - does the whole freak out / concerned doctor thing and I went and had labs drawn after my appointment - that brings the needle stick count to 50 bajillion and 7...No Lie. Hopefully there will be something off balance and I can start maintaining weight soon - new clothes are getting expensive! I assured my doctor that I eat like crazy, and apart from cookies and king cake, I try to avoid junk. That seemed to squash any ideas that I am trying to lose weight, because really, I'm not. I have never in my life actually tried to lose weight. I usually just try to be active and eat healthy foods and see where that gets me.

Apart from my crazy weight loss, everything else is good. We talked about cartwheels and hula hoops - for real - because we always talk about the most random things at my appointments - and I go back in about a month and a half-ish. Now I'm just waiting for Heels to call me with my lab results!

This weekend is going to be a marathon Mardi Gras parade weekend - I can't wait! AND Paula is coming to town, which is almost as cool as when Santa Clause comes to town, well, I guess the two might tie because Santa brings me gifts and well, Paula, she just brings herself.

Mad props to anyone who actually takes the time to read this whole post. I really need to work on my rambling skills.

For Your Viewing Pleasure

2009-02-17T20:50:00.000-06:00

Reminders

2009-02-11T15:15:00.004-06:00

In highschool and college I always had the habit of saying things like, "Ooooh, that looks like Mardi Gras" if something was purple, green, and gold, or if something was red and green, it might spark the response, "Hey look, it's Christmas." It was just my way of thinking. It snowed during exam week of my freshman year of college and my roommate and I sat in our dorm room trying to keep warm, cramming for our 50 million all - essay exams, listening to Jason Mraz. To this day, every time I listen to that cd, I get that exam week feeling all over again. The anxiety from the exams, the excitement over the snow, and I think about going upstairs and getting Ashley to go outside and play in the snow with me and make a snowman on top of a car and to slide down the hill behind Reid hall on our feet and just all the crazy emotions that come along with that. Just little reminders.

Well, the same thing still happens to me now, except the memories aren't quite as pleasant. Whenever I'm at work and going through the file cabinets, as I did back last spring, while (sometimes) hopped up on pain pills, I can smell the files and it brings back that crazy pain-pill induced feeling and I have to step back for a minute. When I'm walking through the Medical Plaza up to The Doctor in High Heel's office, the smell smacks me like a brick wall at 80 miles an hour. Mary Bird Perkins sometimes affects me the same way, but not as much for some reason. Usually the reminders come when I am in the actual place that the memory took place: the office, the medical plaza, Mary Bird, etc. But this past weekend, as we were walking up to our hotel room in the French Quarter, the hallway smelled like the Medical Plaza and it was just enough to give me that anxious feeling in the pit of my stomach every time we walked down the hallway. It's really not that big of a deal, it just happens, but as soon as the smell goes away, I'm fine. I just notice it. And I'm sure it will go away eventually and even if it doesn't it's just one more reminder of everything I've been through to get where I am today.

In other news we are going to have a full house this weekend because we have three friends that are coming to stay with us. Should be fun! And we had a good time in the French Quarter this past weekend. I'll post pictures from that later. The boys spent the weekend with my parents and woke them up bright and early every morning (which they don't do to us. Edgar at least waits until the alarm goes off before he starts begging for food) so they have been sort of lazy for the past couple of days.

Oh well, I'll be back later I guess.

Happy Birthday To MEEEEE!

2009-02-07T12:57:00.007-06:00

Growing up, I've always known at least one person with my birthday. There was a kid named Jay in elementary school that had the same birthday, and that was cool and all, but you always had to share all the attention at school that day, and birthdays are kind of a big deal in 1st grade! Well, they still are when you're 24, but you know what I mean. When I got to high school there were two other people in my classes that had the same birthday as me also. When I got to college, I had some friends with birthdays that were close to mine, but I didn't know anyone with a birthday on the same day, until I met Micah! Micah is another one of those cool kids that I know, and he's even cooler because we have the same birthday. He's 8 today (I THINK...don't quote me on that, he could be like 7 or even 15) and he made me the awesome card in the picture above. So, happy birthday to everyone born on February 7th, and Happy Birthday to Micah! And Happy Birthday to ME!

Ants In My Pants

2009-02-05T19:45:00.007-06:00

This time of year I always get really antsy. Antsy like a 5 year old gets when they're about to take a trip to the candy shop because it's ALMOST my birthday. The almost is the problem. I don't do well with anticipation. Just thinking about all the cake that I'm going to consume in the next few days is about to send me over edge! I don't think I'll ever outgrow it.

Anyway. I mentioned in my random facts post about how I want twins. Here are my favorite twins that I got to hang out with last week and take some pictures of while we were at home. They are the reason I passed calculus in college. When I would babysit them at night, so their parents could sleep for more than an hour at a time, I would do my calculus homework - usually with one of them sitting in my lap. They've come a long way since weighing as much as a loaf of bread. They're almost 3 now and they are stinkin cute! So, here's a sneak preview of some pictures for their parents, and I promise I'm going to get the disk of their pictures in the mail soon!!!!

Well, Common Sense Would Tell You

2009-02-04T15:38:00.003-06:00

I haven't really felt like actually writing much on here lately- that's why you all have gotten so many picture posts. I'm lazy, what can I say. The trip Tulsa was fantastic. The study is completely made over (except for paint and details). No tears were shed from the removal of the couch because, well, the couch only moved two rooms over into the garage. So, we have two new chairs, two new bookshelves, and a secretary in the study now. Oh, and my fancy telescope. Decorating will come later as will painting, because I really don't like painting. I think I'll put that off for as long as possible, at least until Warner caves and offers to do it all while I go out for a spa day. Ha. I'm a dreamer, can't you tell?

I'll let Warner tell you all about his Lasik. I only watched.

I met with Dr. Fields last week before I headed up to Tulsa. Everything looked good according to him. When I walked in, he looked around the room and behind the door and at me, several times and asked where Warner was. I don't know why he looked around so much, it's not like Warner was going to pop out from behing the jar of cotton ball and yell surprise or anything. He proceeded to tell me that some people never come with someone, and some people always come with someone, and I was one of those people that always comes with someone. Then, I told him, like I told Dr. Pou, that I was big girl and could go to doctor appointments alone. At the end of my appointment I asked Dr. Fields about my rash / hives thing and he proceeded to go into a long explanation. And I realized Dr. Fields is not the type of man that you can interrupt during story time to ask questions. You have to save them all until the end. When he finally got frustrated with my questions and interruptions, he told me to wait, and he walked over and sat down on his spinny chair. He said it's not necessarily normal, but it's not uncommon. He said it can be caused by the radiation, and it can be caused by the surgery, and when you put them both together, you're in trouble. Basically my lymphatic system in my face and neck are all closed up and any time the metabolic rate in that area is increased (in my case, by the sun) the lymph fluid gets trapped causing the swelling and itchy rash. So, over time they will become less - it will take 1 - 2 years for the lymphatic system to open back up. The rashes may never go away completely but they should occur less often. So much for my Walmart allergy theory (which I told to Dr. Fields, he didn't seem to amused). For now, Dr. Fields' words of wisdom are: "Well, common sense would tell you to avoid whatever is causing the issue" and then he proceeded to laugh with his self-amused laugh that he does when he thinks he says something funny - which is usually more often than he realizes. Oh Dr. Fields.

I Keep Getting Tagged On Facebook

2009-02-03T16:34:00.000-06:00

So, this has been going around facebook lately and I keep getting tagged, so I went ahead and did it. You're supposed to post 25 random facts about yourself. So here you go:

1. I am a sucker for natural disaster movies. A complete sucker. I will watch them over and over and over and over...etc...again.

2. I am also a sucker for the Lifetime Movie Network. It makes me feel good about myself - like, really good.

3. I don't like to put up the silverware from the dishwasher - it frustrates me. Apparently I missed the day in preschool where we learned fine motor skills.

4. I really miss being flexible and being able to tumble.

5. I wanted to be a professional tennis player - but I was never even close to being that good.

6. I LOVE CAKE.

7. My favorite level of brickbreaker is level 11, but I always die at least once.

8. I have 8 scars from my surgery, some are big and some are small, but they are all there.

9. I'm always freezing cold - and no, it's not my thyroid

10. Contrary to popular belief, I do not like surprises. If there is a plan, I want to be in the loop; however, a certain someone has yet to get this memo and LOVES to have surprises for me.

11. I shave my legs on Saturdays because it is the only morning that I have time to do it.

12. I LOVE to dress up for doctors' appointments. My theory is they will think I am doing much better if I look good.

13. I plan out our dinners a month at a time - I have one big shopping day at the beginning of the month and then I buy fresh things (meat, fruit, veggies, etc.) each week. It's pretty fun.

14. I can not tell which way is north, south, east, or west most of the time, but you can drop me off in the middle of nowhere with a topographic map and I can get around just fine.

15. I have orthostatic hypotension, and it's pretty annoying, but at least it gives me something to joke about.

16. I have a degree in Geology, but really, I just want to go play in the woods and teach kids about nature.

17. I used to have ridiculously long hair, but then I went to college and when I got married I cut it even shorter.

18. I weigh less now than I did when I got married and I wear smaller clothes now too.

19. Right now, I physically can not gain weight. Even if all I eat is pizza and fast food. I've tried. It just isn't happening.

20. I love taking pictures of kids because I get to run around with them and act just as crazy as they do.

21. Cancer has made me a more sarcastic person, and you guys better deal with it!

22. Whenever Warner or I do something around the house or make a snappy comment, we blame it on the dogs. We also say, "Well, Ruekie says..." or "Well Edgar says you should..." all the time.

23. I have shark cartilage in my arm under my skin graft.

24. I really really really want to have twins some day because I have babysat several sets of twins and they are awesome! (I got to hang out with one set this past week)

25. I have had two silent migraines in my life, one of them was today and the other was during my 9th grade Spanish 2 class when we were going around the room reading outloud from the book - I was next and couldn't see a thing. Luckily it passed before I had to read but I was freaking out.

A Post In Pictures

2009-01-30T19:46:00.016-06:00

The new 20/15 vision Warner

This is looking into the new study. We are getting another bookcase for the opposite wall and next trip we will add decorations and stuff.

A better picture into the study - we are going to buy a bigger trunk for in between the chairs on our next trip. That one is just marking the place. We are also going to paint the walls a light blue as well on our next trip...or when we get around to it.

This is the new secretary in the study. The eye center has the same one.

It makes us cool kids. Or not.

The secretary opened up

Our new fireplace set that Warner's parents gave us for Christmas

The boys love eating snow.

The grass in our front yard.

The house all covered in snow!

Ice, Sleet, Snow, And Lasik

2009-01-29T09:40:00.005-06:00

I'm sitting here in the waiting room - using the wireless internet in the building, while Warner is going through all the pre-op stuff. They should be calling me back there soon to watch. Yeah, I get to watch! Here are some pictures of all the pretty white stuff that fell two days ago.

4 hours later:

The Lasik went well. I didn't have a chance to upload anymore pictures this morning because they called me back to the waiting room to watch Warner's Lasik on the tv screen and we left right after that - which meant no more internet on my mac. BLEH! It gives me that weird feeling in my stomach just thinking about it. I saw them cut the flap and rub sponge things all over his eye and then I watched the actual laser part. That part was really cool because there is SMOKE coming from the eye during the process. Yeah, smoke. The kind that is associated with fire. Warner is sleeping in bed - they gave him a sleeping pill when we left the office and he was kind of giggly on the way home. The boy doesn't hold his drugs well. I bought him an audio book but I'm pretty sure he is knocked out and has no clue it is even playing. The study is coming along nicely. I might lose my mind before it's all done, but at least I'm done buying things for the study for this trip. We have two chairs, a secretary, and a bookcase. We are thinking about buying another bookcase and we are going to buy a trunk to convert into a file cabinet. I'll post more pictures later. Since I don't have internet on my mac I can't upload the pictures. Okay, I'll post more later.

What Little Girls Are Made Of

2009-01-26T17:44:00.010-06:00

I could take pictures of little girls all day long.

They cheese it up for the camera and just have the sweetest smiles!

Agh, they're so cute.

And then there are these guys.

They go hunting in the flower bed

And give you the most ridiculous looks when you try to take pictures of them.

And they never, ever, beyond a shadow of a doubt,

even if you dance a jig,

or tell a funny joke, smile for the camera. EVER.

Anyway. That's all I'm going to post of the birthday party pictures. We are heading to Tulsa tomorrow and it's going to be a slow day because of the snow and ice heading through the area tonight and tomorrow morning. Warner is having Lasik on Thursday and I'm redecorating the study. Other than that, not much is going on. I had a doctor's appointment today and it was fine, nothing new to report. I saw a lot of my techs and nurses while I was there so that was fun because I haven't seen some of them since treatment ended. But anyway, enjoy the pictures. I'm going to get back to packing and getting ready for tomorrow.

Just Add Sugar

2009-01-24T23:15:00.011-06:00

Just a quick post of some pictures from my Saturday! Two of my friends had a joint birthday party for their sons today and I was there taking pictures of all the chaos! It was a lot of fun, and I'm going to sleep really well tonight. I have many many more pictures from the day, but these are a couple of my favorites. I'll post a real update sometime soon.

When Boredom And Satire Collide

2009-01-20T10:26:00.004-06:00

"Changing The Meaning Of Hope - 2020"

Yes, that is my brother, and yes, he got very bored the other day.

And yes, this picture made me laugh so hard I almost wet my pants.

Not Playing Fair

2009-01-14T21:11:00.006-06:00

Apparently I have a knack for posting horrifying pictures of myself on this blog. This picture was taken Monday night and as you can see, my rash on my face turned into hives on my cheekbone up to my eye. Swollen.Itchy.Aweful.Hives. So, up until this point the rash was playing fair. It was staying within the radiation boundaries and for the most part was following a set pattern - after UV sun exposure of some sort (I'm not sure if this is the culprit - the only other commonality between the last two outbreaks is that I went to Walmart before. So it could totally be a Walmart allergy!) my face would start to get splotchy and then swell a little and get all red and itchy and about two days later it would peel. You guys know the routine. WELL. This time, my face did the usual, for a day. THEN. It spread up my face! But it wasn't the solid red rash, it was little swollen hives. The rash started Saturday night, was full blown on Sunday and started spreading up my face Sunday evening. On Tuesday it was starting to fade some, and today it is peeling (although it is still itchy sometimes). So, the rash isn't playing fair anymore so the gloves are coming off! Although I don't really know what to do...they don't make anything higher than SPF 70 that I know of.

Okay, so what's going on around here, you ask? Not a whole lot. Warner is working nights for the shut down, so he gets home as I am leaving for work and he leaves as I'm getting home, so we see each other for about an hour a day. I'm not sure how long the night shift is going to last, it depends on how fast they finish the shut down. Edgar has really missed spending time with Warner. When Warner gets home he goes nuts for about 30 minutes. When I get home, he gets excited, but it lasts, oh, about 2 seconds. The boys are also loving having Warner home during the day (even though he is sleeping the whole time - but that means they get to cuddle in bed with him).

Speaking of Edgar. The poor guy has horrible ear infections, so Warner took him in today and got some medication for him and apparently he has a slight heart murmur - but it's nothing to worry about right now because it may end up going away on its own. He also had a callus on the top of his head that we had checked out. Warner and I had been joking that it was probably because he runs into the wall so much, and guess what! The vet took samples of it, and it's a BRUISE! Haha, so we were right! The vet said he is obviously in his awkward 10 month old puppy stage (he was falling all over himself while getting examined) and he will start filling out in his hips and chest around 16 months - so the shetland pony may make it to full quarter horse size by the time he's done growing! Okay, well, it's bed time!

The Coolest Kid On The Block

2009-01-09T23:53:00.014-06:00

Molly, AKA the coolest kid on the block, had her first gymnastics in house practice competition tonight and I wasn't going to miss it for the world!

They performed their routines for floor, beam, vault, and bars and all the kiddos did great! It definitely made me miss my tumbling days. Yeah, contrary to popular belief, I used to be flexible and I used to love to send my body flying into the air, and falling....falling is always fun! You've gotta like falling if you're going to tumble - otherwise, you have picked the wrong hobby!

But anyway, back to Molly! Molly was born my senior year of high school and I used to babysit her quite often until I left for college. I think her mom was the first person I was close to that got pregnant - so it was very exciting when Molly arrived. She was supposed to be the flower girl in my wedding until her momma got pregnant and was due right around the time of my wedding (and awesome Mary became my flower girl!). Molly is also the expert on all things shark cartilage and she knows everything about my surgery - right down to my feeding tube. So, that definitely makes her awesome. So, here are a few pictures from her meet.

Waiting patiently to do her bar routine

They all were so excited to get surprise medals at the end of the night!

Do They Make Yoga For Quadriplegics?

2009-01-07T20:14:00.012-06:00

I really haven't had much to write about lately. I'm back at work, Warner starts a shut down tomorrow, and the boys are being completely obnoxious and feel they are the most deprived puppies on the planet (which I assure you, they are not).

I have been desperately searching for a new hobby, but I haven't had much luck. I've thought about taking a community class but they are all out in Baton Rouge, and with work and having to battle the evening rush hour to get out there, I really don't want to put myself through that! So, I've been keeping myself busy with coming up with ideas for how to decorate the study in the Tulsa house. We are taking a trip up there at the end of this month and I'm planning on diving in head first and getting the study up and running - or at least sending the "white" couch to Goodwill - unless there are too many tears involved and then it might sit in our garage for a little while - which in that case, I'll be praying for lots of rain. So, I've got a plan for two bookcases, a secretary / desk, a chair, and a table. I'm not sure how all that is going to fit into the study because it's a very small room, but I'm going to make it work.

So, my New Years resolution was to keep the house cleaner and to eat more vegetables. Well, the apartment isn't so clean, but it's not bad. We've kept the carpet vacuumed which is quite a feat because Edgar sheds enough hair each week to clothe all the kids in Africa. And I've been eating my vegetables, which is not that big of a surprise because, well, I love vegetables, so that was kind of a freebie resolution, but it totally counts.

But for real, I want to get back in shape. I figure, cancer is over so I need to be in better shape. This is proving to be a hard mission. I have to watch what I do because I am still losing weight at the drop of a hat, and honestly, I'm tired of getting in trouble for it. Plus, I can't afford any more new clothes, well, I guess I could, but I'd rather spend the money on getting the study fixed up. So, in my mission to become "ripped" I have attempted Yoga For Beginners. You know, the one where they take more time explaining the pose than they actually spend doing the pose, and where they take like five minute breaks in between each pose, and the hardest thing they ask you to do is touch your toes (to which I replied, "You want me to do what?!?!"). Yeah, I failed. MISERABLY. To the point where I was yelling at Patricia Walden who was calmly talking the whole time while she was gracefully exercising on my television screen with her chiseled abs and flexible hamstrings. After, I asked Warner if they make yoga for quadriplegics, then I realized that would be impossible, so I decided to settle on yoga for paraplegics - because yeah, that's where I am.

Jackson Square on New Years Eve

The party goers

The rest of the crew

The Fleur De Lis drop on top of JAX brewery

Here We Go

2009-01-02T22:05:00.002-06:00

Well it's been a while since I've made a post so I thought I would before things get crazy at work next week. We have a pretty large amount of work to complete in a short amount of time, and things have to go just right to stay on schedule. Working on this particular portion of work has been my personal little project over he past 6 weeks or so, and I'm really hoping everything comes off smoothly. Enough about that though. How bout we do a fancy year in review type of thing. In many ways it's good to see 2008 go... ok really in one BIG way its good to see 2008 go. At the same time though I know that this trial was not only good for Stephanie and I, but the best thing for us. I find this an undeniable truth. We were truly blessed throughout the year, but this was especially evident between April and August. Finanicially we were in a perfect position to be able to deal with cancer, mainly due to early plans for me to have LASIK and thus having a whole lot of money in our flexible spending account. I've also been getting quite a bit of overtime down here in Louisiana, and we were certainly provided for. The guys I work with are also incredibly generous, from the project manager and superintendents all the way down to the laborers. We were also blessed geographically, not only were we in the only place to get this particular team of doctors, but we were also close to Stephanie's family. This allowed Stephanie's mom to stay with us and help out a whole lot around the apartment. I'm curious to see what is in store for us in 2009, knowing we will again be blessed, and hoping we will be blessed in a much diffrerent way. I've also scheduled LASIK for much earlier in the year, this way Stephanie can't steal all the flex money out from under me.

And Tonight We Will Say...

2008-12-31T16:32:00.000-06:00

Peace Out 2008!!

Look Who Came Back!

2008-12-28T15:41:00.011-06:00

Can you see it??? Here's a close up. Maybe that will help:

Yeah, my rash is back, and I have no idea why this time. It started out yesterday as a little splotch across my cheek and then last night it was full blown down my chest. Yippee.

I think I'm going to name my rash one of these days, seeing as we are becoming close acquaintances. Is that too weird? In other news,

here are some more pictures from Christmas for your viewing pleasure.

This is the fern that was on the oak tree that was cut down on Christmas Eve. Here it looks pretty dead and gone. BUT, add some rain over night and voila':

The dead fern perked up! It was so pretty on Christmas morning

because the big ol jumble of chopped up oak tree was very green and covered in fern!

Here's a picture of the fern in black and white -

because I know you all have always wondered what fern looks like in black and white!

Okay, that's all I've got for now.

Family Introductions - Merry Christmas Style

2008-12-26T21:39:00.018-06:00

This of course is Warner. Enough said. You all know about him.

This is Ruekie. He's awesome.

This is Edgar. He's really a Shetland Pony disguised as a German Shepherd.

This is my dad. The picture is blurry because he has super powers.

He has super sonic speed and won't slow down for pictures.

This is my mom. She's a lap dog person. Me on the other hand,

I like my dogs to be the size of a Shetland Pony.

This is my brother. He only has one eye because he wanted to be a pirate back when he was in highschool. We try not to make fun of him for it though.

This is my grandmother. She's pocket sized.

This is Warner's dad. I think he thinks I'm weird.

No, I don't think, I know he thinks I'm weird.

This is Warner's mom. She's part of a gypsy rock band.

Check out her awesome head-banging skills.

This is Warner's sister. She's (almost) 15 so there's nothing more to say about that.

Oh, and she likes cat food.

This is Warner's Aunt Lily, her cousin Margaret, and Warner's Grammy. I can't think of anything witty to put here as a caption though. So just enjoy the picture.

And of course this is me. Because your day wouldn't be complete without seeing a picture of the wonky smile! It's pretty tragic!

More Christmas pictures to come later!

Merry Christmas!

2008-12-25T23:32:00.002-06:00

Families have been visited and all the presents are open. We have made it back to our apartment and are looking forward to a good nights sleep. I may go shopping with my parents tomorrow or I may just sleep all day. We will see what their plans are! Hope everyone had a Merry Christmas!!! I'll post some pictures soon!

My Cancer Posse

2008-12-20T16:07:00.002-06:00

Ha, I really don't have a posse, and I really don't know enough people with cancer to actually form a posse, but a girl can dream, can't she? I would definitely be in an Old West, gun slingin' type of posse. Can you just picture it?? But ANYWAY, I do have a new friend that is also 23 and has oral cancer. And guess what?? She is having her surgery today - which means, by the time she reads this, she will hopefully be cancer free! So, kick butt today Shaylynn!

In other news we will be heading up to Auburn soon and spending a few days there with family before heading back to spend some time with my family. OH, and PAULA is hooooome!!!

Turns Out, I'm NOT The Celebrity In The Family

2008-12-17T13:33:00.003-06:00

So today, I became a big girl and went to my first doctor's appointment all by myself since this whole ordeal began (except for my endocrinologist appointments). And you know what?!!? EVERYONE asked me where Warner was - so much for me being the super-star. I told them that I decided I was a big girl and didn't need him at every appointment. So, now I'm flying solo, kind of. I brought Dr. Pou and Mell Christmas cards and they went all girly emotional on me - at least Mell did, which makes me feel special! Anyway, so it was a good appointment, I have some slight swelling in my larynx but that is normal and is probably from me having a cold. The first thing Dr. Pou did when she got in my room was pull out my chart and start rattling off all my weights from past visits. Yeah, I'm down another four pounds. I told her what my endocrinologist said and that they make fun of me for eating all the time at work. She just doesn't want me to waste away. I only had one resident come in and look at me this time and I've moved on to two months in between visits - which is only an extra 2 weeks, so not that big of a deal. I had blood work done for my endocrinologist by some nurse who was all business. She didn't say a word to me when I tried to talk to her, then she jabbed my arm with the needle, patched me up, and in the most grinch-iest tone said "Happy Holidays." I left wondering what had just happened!

Dr. Pou sprayed both sides of my nose today before she scoped me. I had mentioned to her that I had a stuffy nose from my cold so she told me the spray would help unstop it. Well, the spray worked wonderfully (except for making my nose and sinuses numb) until about noon and at that point I started sneezing every few minutes and projectiling boogers everywhere and blowing out massive amounts of boogers! So that has been fun. Aren't you guys glad that you are reading this and finding out about my boogers?

So, that's about it in my world. Oh, does anyone have any good tips for getting red liquid cough medicine out of carpet? Edgar knocked over a bottle on the coffee table that apparently was not closed all the way and yeah, our carpet is still a little pink...