I'm still learning more about the mac and Aperture, so if you've got any pointers for me (especially for Aperture) let me know. I think I used photoshop once in an art class so basically it's just me messing around right now. Anyway, in case you missed it in the last post...I'm finished with treatment!!!!! Yeah, just wanted to make sure you all knew. Oh, and it's raining outside, and I looooove the rain!!! I keep getting distracted by looking out my window!Another oh! Warner got me a necklace for finishing treatment (yeah, I'm getting super spoiled). It has diamonds and two Ruby's on it and it is kind of in the shape of a cancer ribbon, but not really. I'll take a picture and show you all later. For now, enjoy the pictures I have posted!!! And celebrate me being done with treatment. I'll be celebrating once my mouth doesn't hurt and I can enjoy some good food!!!
Thursday, July 31, 2008
The Blog Is Temporarily Turning Into A Photo Album
I'm still learning more about the mac and Aperture, so if you've got any pointers for me (especially for Aperture) let me know. I think I used photoshop once in an art class so basically it's just me messing around right now. Anyway, in case you missed it in the last post...I'm finished with treatment!!!!! Yeah, just wanted to make sure you all knew. Oh, and it's raining outside, and I looooove the rain!!! I keep getting distracted by looking out my window!Another oh! Warner got me a necklace for finishing treatment (yeah, I'm getting super spoiled). It has diamonds and two Ruby's on it and it is kind of in the shape of a cancer ribbon, but not really. I'll take a picture and show you all later. For now, enjoy the pictures I have posted!!! And celebrate me being done with treatment. I'll be celebrating once my mouth doesn't hurt and I can enjoy some good food!!!
Posted by Stephanie at 5:15 PM 12 comments
The End.
Haha, in no way shape or form is this the end, but it is the end of treatment! I'm officially DONE with radiation!!!!! Countdown's at zero!!!! Nap Time!
Posted by Stephanie at 12:18 PM 4 comments
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
I Feel Like I Should Be Sitting At Starbucks With My New Mac Writing This Blog...Like All The Cool Kids
I am hocking up loogies like you would NOT believe (they can basically fill a washcloth). Seriously, it's all I do...all day long. I have those dang mouth ulcers as well so it makes blowing mucus out of your throat and mouth uncomfortable. My throat is pretty raw from not being able to drink much (basically I take a sip of water and immediately rinse with salt water because that soothes the ulcers from the thrush and mucositis) and I'm sure it's pretty torn up from the radiation, I mean if the inside of my throat is anything like the outside, it's going to take some time to heal up, I just want to keep swallowing (however little that may actually be) so my throat doesn't close up, it just BURNS my tongue (I've tried water and tea, the only thing that doesn't burn is salt water - WEIRD!) I'm taking pain pills for the ulcers and I have a lidocaine mouthwash that isn't so magic (it lasts like 5 minutes), Robitussin for the loogies, and nystatin for the thrush, so I've got my bases covered in the pain management area.
Posted by Stephanie at 7:40 PM 4 comments
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Happy Second Anniversary!!!
ACK! Warner, being the most amazing guy on this planet gave me a Macbook Pro for our anniversary! Me, being the scum on the bottom of our shower has not even bought a card for him yet! YIKES! My mom offered to go pick one up at the store for me, but that somehow felt like cheating! Ya know what is so cool about this computer? The keyboard lights up, IT LIGHTS UP!! How cool is that?
Posted by Stephanie at 8:09 PM 11 comments
Coming Soon to A Blog Near You
Our Anniversary
3 treatments to go update
2 treatments to go
Final Chemo
Paula comes to town
Mouth sores and a blistered neck
Whatever else I think about later on!
Posted by Stephanie at 5:28 AM 4 comments
Friday, July 25, 2008
My Wife is Too Perfect (aka Holding Steady at Four)
This morning Lynn, Dr. Fields' nurse called Stephanie's phone and said he needed to talk to her. Of course she could have said "*kchh* Houston, we are go for freakout, again we are go for freakout. Commence freakout *kchh*" and of course we did. Stephanie asked me to call them back around 12:30, which I did promptly and left a voice mail on the number I had. I was called back by some very nice lady, whose name I didn't catch and was very much NOT Dr. Fields. Undaunted I called MBP and left a message at the nurses desk around 1:30. At 2:30 I called MBP again and this time got to an operator and asked for Dr. Fields. He came on the line very cheerily and said that he had been thinking for a few weeks that since Stephanie had close margins he wanted to add one treatment to the end to make sure we had the best chance of getting all the cancer. He then asked if that was ok and more importantly whether or not we had any cruises planned...then he laughed for probably the second time I've heard him laugh. I told him that we hadn't planned any cruises just yet.
So now the radiation treatments don't end the day after our anniversary, but the day after that. Chemo still ends the day before our anniversary. I'm not sure how we will celebrate, any ideas?
Posted by warner at 7:37 PM 6 comments
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
We're Down To One Hand!
First things first, 5 treatment days left!! Which means, by the time most people read this tomorrow there will only be four left. Fatigue has hit me full force this week. Yesterday and today I was awake for maybe 4 or 5 hours all day, the dogs have been napping with me as well. So there's not much to report because I haven't been awake to do anything! My neck is getting pretty rough looking. The left side is hanging in there but the right side looks like it's about to pack up its bags and hit the road. It's really dark red and bordering on dark purple and I'm hoping it will hang in there and not crack or anything.
In other news, these crazy kids spent the weekend with us. We mostly just hung out around the house and went out to dinner (I only went once because I was not feeling well the first time they all went out). There was a lot of talk about my feeding tube, Hal is a nurse, and a lot of the babies she deals with have them, so I could actually respond to her questions about them. Kasey also spent a lot of time trying to convince me to shave my head, but I am happy to report I still have all the hair that I started out the weekend with (for the most part anyway). Anyway, it was nice to have them visit and spend some time with us. I'll let Warner write more about the weekend if he feels the need to.
Well, I'm going to get back in bed and get some sleep! Gotta rest up because Paula is coming to town!
Posted by Stephanie at 8:45 PM 4 comments
Friday, July 18, 2008
The Countdown's Getting Lower Every Day!
I feel the need to apologize for not updating very often here lately (especially for those of you who compulsively check, it's okay, you can admit it, we compulsively check for comments so we are right there with you!), but life has been, well, uneventful - if you can believe that. Basically all that is going on is this HUGE (and when I say HUGE - in all caps - you can bet your bottom dollar that it's huger than huge) countdown. Yeah, that's right, EIGHT MORE TREATMENT DAYS! Part of me does not want weekends anymore, seriously, I'd finish four days sooner, but I really really really need them. I've basically been sleeping like crazy this week. My daily schedule is, get up at 5am, leave at 530am to go to treatment, 6am treatment, 630am head home, 7am in bed, 1pm wake up, 2pm physical therapy, 3pm home and sit on the couch the rest of the day, 930 pm bedtime. Also, I have gotten REALLY (there go those caps again) red this week and it has kind of created a fade effect on my face. My neck is really red and is slowly fades upward into my face and right around my cheekbones my face is back to a normal color (I'll post pictures when I take some). Slightly amusing, slightly painful, but mostly it just makes me sweat - because the heat that this burn is capable of producing is ridiculous! My poor mother has had to deal with the house being on 70 most of the time, and as long as I keep the house on 70, I don't think she'll let me hear the end of it! That's okay, she gets me back when I go to her house and it's set on like 90 million, okay, 78 - sue me, I exaggerate a little sometimes.
Well, I just wanted to let everyone know that we are still alive and counting down to the end of treatment. Our friends Kasey and Hal are coming in tonight and staying for the weekend, so we are looking forward to their arrival. My brother spent most of the day visiting / hanging out. We pretty much just watched tv all day and played Guitar Hero for a few minutes. Next weekend Paula will be home and then the next weekend Todd and Julie and their kiddo will be down visiting (that will be my first weekend after finishing treatments!). So if you want to come visit, book your weekend now, they're filling up fast! Kidding, you can visit whenever, you just might have to sleep with the dogs, which they're pretty cuddly so that may not be half bad.
Posted by Stephanie at 9:36 PM 8 comments
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
I Knew I Was Perfect!
What Warner fails to mention is all the times that I have schooled him at Monopoly, but we won’t go there! Okay, so we had a good weekend. Warner and I invaded Dawn and Mark’s house on Saturday night for a few hours which involved playing 20 questions with Molly and Mason about my scars. Mason’s eyes were huge when he first saw my arm, I guess little boys love that kind of thing, and Molly just kept feeling it, but she made certain to inform me that she does not ever want to have surgery! Molly got the entire story about my surgery and everything they did to me. Micah kept sticking her tongue out at me from across the room – totally unfair, my tongue doesn’t stick out all that well, at least not far enough to make an impact! It was a good visit and I really enjoyed getting to talk to Dawn and Mark. On Sunday we made it to Sunday School – super late, but we were there, and to church. It was good to see everyone, even though I was super tired from being up late the night before and waking up early.
Monday whipped us back into our normal routine. On Mondays we meet with Dr. Fields and Dr. Bienvenu. I even made Dr. Fields laugh! He was going through all my records and asked a few questions and then he was looking to see how many treatments I had left, and I blurted out, Twelve! I think he was shocked at how excited I was about getting to the end, but it made him laugh! Then I had my blood work done upstairs and met with Dr. Bienvenu. He informed me that I am perfect (DUH!) and that he likes that he gets to see me first thing in the morning because I don’t ruin his day because I am doing so well. Also, he likes that he gets to see me on Mondays because it gets his week off to a good start. See, I always knew I was perfect. I mentioned to Dr. Bienvenu about my gagging problems, and he suggested taking Robitussin to thin out my saliva. So I’ve started taking Robitussin to help with all that slimy saliva and mucus in my mouth, and while it dries my mouth out some, it’s better than choking on my spit, and it helps me sleep better at night. Also, the ulcer on the side of my tongue flares up on occasion, and makes eating difficult, but I’m still eating as much as I can.
After chemo we went and saw Hancock because we had some time to kill before Speech Therapy. It was pretty good. After the movie we went to speech and then out to the work site so Warner could check on some things. It took us two hours to get home (which I had to really go to the bathroom for those entire two hours on the way home) and then we watched The Closer and went to bed. Nothing to eventful, but it was quite a busy day.
OH! This week has also been good because my favorite tech is back - I don’t know where he went, but he was MIA for a week and a half. The girl that was filling in was nice and all, but she always turned all the lights on after my treatment (and when you are laying face up, and have been in a dark tunnel, it’s quite the shock when those lights come on. Also, she didn’t play the music loud, where you could hear it over the machines. Josh on the other hand plays the music loud, always gets me a warm blanket (I don’t even have to ask!), lets me wait until the last minute to put in my bite plate, and gets me out of that wretched mask as fast as possible after treatment so I can take the bite plate out (because it pretty much gags me the WHOLE time), oh – and he doesn’t turn the bright lights on. Amy is the other tech that I like, but she has been on another machine for a few weeks, so I don’t know what’s up with that.
So, eleven treatments left, and two chemos to go!
Posted by Stephanie at 6:07 PM 7 comments
Sunday, July 13, 2008
I Beat the Chick With Cancer
Stephanie reminded me of this fact as soon as I beat her for the VERY FIRST time in heads-up Monopoly. Don't worry I still did a celebration dance on top of her houses and spiked her game piece (the old shoe) while shouting "I am the GREATEST". Today was a good day, the perfect end to a good week. Not only did I beat Stephanie's pants off in Monopoly, but we went to church for the first time since we started this adventure. It was good to see everyone at Stephanie's home church. We also spent last night at her parents house with all the dogs, and got to see some of her very good friends. All in all Steph has been feeling good, and I've been loving seeing that. We are both hoping and praying the very bleak picture Dr. Fields painted of treatment doesn't suddenly come true in the next two and a half weeks, but if it does at least we were warned.
In other news Stephanie has found great joy in showing off her beautiful hair line. You can't tell she's lost her hair unless she shows you, so she spends at least 30 seconds of every conversation showing that off. The rest of most of her conversations involve showing off her arm and proclaiming how many treatments she has left. Her arm really is cool, she even lets people touch it, which kids especially get a kick out of.
She has exactly two weeks and three days left, and three of those days are Mondays (meaning chemo). Still no word on when she will have another scan, her research indicates it could be as much as a month after treatment is done, but we are still definitely looking forward to it whenever it may be.
Posted by warner at 8:50 PM 9 comments
Friday, July 11, 2008
Shortenin' Bread
We went out to dinner last night to The Cabin to celebrate Lance and Carey's birthdays. My food was okay, it was overcooked so I couldn't eat some of it, okay, most of it, but the red beans and rice that came with it were great! There was also a cake for them, and you all know how much I.LOVE.CAKE! Well, Mama's little baby may like shortening bread, but she definitely does not like sticking her hand in the Crisco jar, and that is EXACTLY what the cake tasted like to me. Yeah, there was absolutely NO taste what.so.ever. Please come back taste buds (the sweet ones, the salty ones are already working over time).
I have no other news to report except I have two and a half weeks left of treatment. Mom and I went shopping a little bit today at Perkins Rowe (we hit two stores) and then we went to Gap at the outlet mall. So I'm pretty worn out tonight but that's okay because it's the weekend and I don't have to wake up early tomorrow! Oh well, just a quick update. I'm going to go watch my crazy mutts run circles around the house now.
Posted by Stephanie at 8:16 PM 3 comments
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Scoped Again - The Story of My Life!
I could sit here and post about how I saw my favorite doctor in high heels today and I could gripe and complain about how she scoped my nose and gagged me a million times (I almost threw up too), but that it was all okay because she asked how our families were doing, compared Dr. Fields to Eeyore, said I looked good, and gave us hugs at the end! Or I could tell you all that I am 15 treatments, exactly three weeks, away from being finished, and that I'm so ready to be done!! OR I could tell you that I almost ate an entire can of chicken noodle soup, not pureed (it was quite salty tasting) and there was some full on noodle chewing going on because the ulcer on my tongue is slowly getting better. But I'm going to leave that at that and tell you that I have finally picked up my camera again and THAT is pretty exciting. I haven't really taken any pictures since before my surgery (my left arm was in the half cast and then it was too weak for a while and didn't have any range of motion, so Warner was acting as photographer in my place) but I'm back! Warner got me the coolest flowers yesterday for getting to the half-way point, so I decided it would be the perfect opportunity to get my camera out. So, just in case you were going to have nightmares about me having my nose scoped again (I might, it's a scary procedure, very invasive), I will share some pictures with you to make it all better!
Posted by Stephanie at 9:20 PM 8 comments
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Another One Down and Only Sixteen Left
Well we (Stephanie) made it to the halfway point. Man does it feel good too. In sixteen more treatments I guess we will probably have THE scan, it's scary and relieving to think about, all at the same time. I for one am welcoming the end of treatments as the time when Stephanie will finally begin to truly heal from the treatments. It sounds funny having to heal from the thing that is curing you. I will admit to being somewhat surprised with the ease with which we obtained the medicine for thrush. I asked Stephanie later why you would go to eight extra years of school to have someone call you and tell you what's wrong with them so you can call in a prescription. I guess the medicine probably doesn't have bad side effects so he was ok with not necessarily seeing us and trusting us to call back if we had more/other problems.
I am very pleased and happy with the way everything is going at this point. We expect the effects of the radiation to get worse, but Stephanie is pretty tough and I know she can handle it. I like all three of doctors, though they all have very different "bedside" mannerisms. As Stephanie said before, Dr. Fields is definitely down to business without much in the personal area. Yesterday wasn't typical, but at the same time it wasn't surprising either. However, if either Dr. Pou or Dr. Bienvenu had done that I would have been jaw dropping shocked to be honest. Dr. Pou is all very much down to business, but in a much more personal way, she truly treats the patient (and family) not just the disease. Dr. Bienvenue is certainly all about making sure he has done everything he can and written every prescription he can to make sure everything he does to you is mitigated as much as possible. I don't think we could have a better combination for Stephanie's (and my) personality. As I step back to look at the entire situation, we have truly been provided for in ways that boggle one's mind. We truly serve a Good God.
Posted by warner at 9:38 AM 4 comments
Monday, July 7, 2008
There’s A Paula Shaped Hole In Louisiana (and my heart…)
That’s right, Paula has finally ditched me for find a husband further her education. I guess it’s all text messages and emails for us from now on (since I still don’t really talk on the phone). Sad day. What’s a girl to do with her best friend 396 miles away? The especially sad part is I can’t indulge in junk food to help me wallow in self pity. Stupid cancer - ruining my misery.
Haha, actually, I’m very excited that Paula is headed off to school. Not because she’s leaving me, but because she’s gonna be all smart and educated and get herself a real job and she’s supposed to come visit me in like two weeks. I just wanted to make you all feel bad for me and maybe make Paula cry, because I’m a punk like that.
I got some medicine on Saturday for thrush (apparently you can diagnose it over the phone) and it’s clearing up nicely. The bad taste in my mouth is disappearing and I can taste a little better – except for sweet stuff, yeah, those taste buds are zapped and that makes me sad, almost as sad as Paula leaving me. I’m craving apple juice, but I can’t really taste it, so it’s not the same, and most stuff burns my mouth. Tomorrow is the half way point and I keep telling myself that I only have 16 more after that! Then a few weeks for the mouth sore to go away and then we’ll play the rest of the recovery by ear. I’m hoping it will be fast since I have not lost any weight (I even gained some today).
I saw my radiation oncologist for like 2 minutes today. Apparently if I want him to spend any time talking to me or examining me I need to be a worse patient. He walked in, looked at my charts, said my weight was great, and my blood was great, and to keep it up. I told him that I had lost almost all the hair on that back part of my head and he was like, yeah, that’s a side effect. Such sympathy. I was only telling him in case he wanted to keep track of all my side effects, apparently that’s not that important of a symptom in the grand scheme! My dietician and chemo nurses laughed about that story when we told him. Apparently Dr. Fields has a reputation for telling you like it is and having no sympathy, he’s all business.
I slept through chemo – they got my IV in on the first try, which was a huge relief. Usually they have to dig for my vein or try like four times. Then Warner and I went and saw Wall-e. It was cute - A good distraction from my mouth sores and everything that’s going on. Tonight the guys from work came over and Warner grilled some bratwurst for dinner. I don’t like brats, but they sure did smell good out there cooking. I schooled Mike in Guitar Hero. He was talking major smack and I totally showed him how it’s done. Now I’m going to bed early, because I am WORN OUT!
Posted by Stephanie at 9:18 PM 9 comments
Friday, July 4, 2008
Happy 4th!
Last year on the 4th of July we enjoyed going to an "Ice Cream Social" with our church. It's held right across the street from the airport where the Siloam Springs fireworks are. This was a really good evening, I played football with some guys, Stephanie held some babies and took lots of pictures. We saw and got to hang out with plenty of people we really enjoyed. This was all set against the back drop of preparing to embark on new adventure as we had just purchased our house and were getting ready to move into it.
This year was much the same in the enjoyment factor, we traded Siloam for Luling and the fireworks on the 4th for the fireworks on the 3rd. We also traded our Siloam friends for Stephanie's family, and the ice cream stayed at their house and didn't come to the fireworks show.
What is vastly different is the back drop. Sometimes I'm still in shock and disbelief that we are where we are. I remember the morning Stephanie told me vividly, and I remember thinking this couldn't be true. I remember getting pushed ahead of everyone in line for our first appointment with Dr. Pou, and I remember knowing she owuld come in and look at Stephanie and tell us Dr. Regan had made a mistake, the ulcer wasn't cancer. Now we're two months and a few days from that point, we've started a routine I will be glad to finish, with radiation every day and chemo every Monday.
Today I learned the real definitions of two words that will mean a lot to both of us. Remission: having no sign of cancer in the body
Cured: being in remission for five years
Five years has never seemed so long away.
Like Stephanie said, on Tuesday she will be halfway through radiation, we will be halfway through this awful routine. Unfortunately it is shaping up to be a steeper slope to climb than the first half. But I have faith in my wife to be tough (she's been the toughest one through all this), and I have faith in God that in His plan this is as it should be.
Thank you for all your love and prayers and have a happy 4th, we certainly did!
Posted by warner at 11:12 PM 4 comments
Happy Fourth of July!
Happy Fourth of July! Warner and I celebrated by going to my parents house on Thursday evening for the community fireworks at the Bridge Park and then we spent the night at my parents house. It was good to get out for the evening but I was beat by the end of the night (we got home around 10:30). We slept in this morning, at least I did, Warner kind of did - but hey, anything is better than 5 am.
I'm pretty sure I have thrush in my mouth, and I'll have to wait until Monday for my doctor's appointments to find out. If so, I'm hoping it will explain the foul taste in my mouth. Also, most of the left side of my tongue is an ulcer, and this is making eating very, very hard. I have some mouthwash numbing stuff to put on there, but it doesn't last long enough and wears off after a few bites of food. Also, everything burns the ulcer if it touches it. I think overall, this has been the most frustrating part, because apart from the ulcer and bad taste I am feeling fairly well (and unfortunately, I want to eat to get that taste out of my mouth, but eating is a pretty complicated process right now, it's one of those vicious cycles!). The only vomiting / nausea trouble I'm having right now is when I get gagged (by the foul taste!) usually when I'm trying to rinse my mouth out. So, for now, I'm stuck in the middle of all these vicious cycles; hopefully Monday will bring some answers!
In other news, I had three stitches come out of my tongue today! No more poking me in the top of my mouth! (two came out after I threw up this evening - I gagged myself while trying to rinse out my mouth!!!! Yeah, pathetic I know. I have a weak stomach).
My parents offered to keep our dogs until Tuesday (at least mom offered to keep them, dad offered to stake them up out front until we got back). We will hopefully go out there on Sunday to spend the day with my parents, but I'm sure Warner will enjoy not having to wake up early and take care of the mutts for a few days.
Okay. I'll stop complaining! Things are going pretty well and I'm glad I have a three day weekend. Also, on Tuesday I will be half way through! Hope you all had a great Fourth!
Posted by Stephanie at 10:45 PM 4 comments