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I don't have much to say, I'm up too late and my mid is wandering. I was one of the lucky people that got to have Stephanie in my life. Six years seems too few to have been able to spend with her, but they were great years. Even the last two as I watched her suffer and fight a terrible disease. Her spirit, drive, and faith taught me so much about life. Every day continues to bring challenges as I struggle with grief and continuing on. I miss Stephanie, but I am glad she never has to worry about pain again. I only hope that I can pass her memory, her faith, her spirit, and her strength on to all those whose paths I cross.

Grace and Peace.

Sometimes

Sometimes I can't help but see the look in your eyes as Janan told you "This might be the end". Sometimes I keep replaying telling you in ICU that I told the doctors not to intubate you, thankfully thats the same time you told me that you loved me for the last time. I Treasure that memory and I Love you too.

The First of Too Many

The first important anniversary milestone has come and passed. Prayers be with Armando's Family. Marathon Pipeline erected this memorial at the jobsite, close to the location of the accident.

Making It

That's exactly what I'm doing day by day and hour by hour. There's nothing else I can do. I apologize for not being better about keeping up with this blog, maybe I will become better, or maybe I will start a different one and allow this one to remain as is. Regardless, I am still here. In Oklahoma for the time being. I haven't made it out to Siloam for church near as much as I would have liked. I miss all the people out there, but part of me is still scared of the memories and emotions that will come up when I'm there.

I have come to deeply appreciate the many joyous memories I have of Stephanie, but there are times when the sense of loss is certainly overwhelming. There are also times when I feel as though nothing has happened. I often think of something Stephanie would enjoy hearing about, and have to remind myself I can't tell her about it.

A great friend sent me a very good book about dealing with loss. The author experienced his own tragic loss and is able to write with and about the real emotions, and the real way in which life moves on.

So I am here and I am making it. With support from everyone in my life, and ultimately with the support from God. I live each day because there is nothing better for me to do. "To live is Christ, to die is gain".

Grace and Peace,

Warner