HGTV You Are My Constant Companion

I have gotten off that wretched food pump that has kept me alive for the past couple of weeks. We are now just syringing in food every hour. It’s much nicer not being attached to the pump 24 hours a day. Hopefully I can get up to eating “meals” six times a day, so I don’t have to start feedings at 5am and finish at 8am (or later if I miss feeds, like today because of doctors appointments).

I had speech therapy today, and apparently I have swallowing problems, but my speech is really good. I will have a swallowing test on Tuesday to make sure nothing is getting into my airways when I swallow. I found it easier to swallow some water than it was to swallow spit, so I just think my mouth was meant for food, and that I can be bribed to swallow properly with food. I tried to eat some applesauce – the first bit of food in my mouth in almost three weeks – it was quite a challenge because it was thick and my tongue did not cooperate. Imagine me trying to swallow and tipping my head back trying not to let it fall out of my mouth – I’m positive Warner was laughing inside, right along with my therapist. I did manage three bites of it though! I’m allowed to start drinking water and I can eat blended foods three times a day – mostly just to enjoy the taste of food again. So, tonight I had a small bowl of blended chicken noodle soup – and although it looked gross all blended up, it tasted like chicken noodle soup – which is awesome that I can taste it. So, I can’t drink juice yet, which I really want, hopefully next week. I really want French Fries too, from Wendy’s, or Whataburger, or wherever dang it, but I have a feeling that is still quite a ways off – I can’t chew anything yet, because they don’t want me to bite my tongue – which I would surely do, I do it already (but I only bite the side that has sensation in it of course). I want Dr. Pepper too…maybe that’s how I will celebrate the end of radiation, which starts on the 16^th at 6am (because my husband likes to torture me and wake me up early, plus I’ll be getting out before it gets too hot). No, actually we wanted to do it then because Warner won’t miss much work and I can come back and sleep the day away after. I have problems with a few word and letter sounds which I guess it is to be expected, I am missing half my tongue you know. Mom bought me some yogurt, potatoes, soup, and baby food desserts – which will be thoroughly enjoyed (even though they are thick and hard to swallow).

Feeling is slowly coming back to my face and neck area - slowly. And it feels like a big ol bruise and it tingles. In three weeks I'll get some exercises from Dr. Pou (I seriously mention her in all of my posts don't I?) so I can get some mobility back, but she wants all the vessels and nerves to heal first. Mostly they involve massaging (yeah, massages for me, and I have to get them, doctor's orders!) because there's a lot of scar tissue there and stretches because I can't lift my arms very high, let alone above my head very well. So, if you ever have a neck dissection, you can totally ask me about what to expect - I really wasn't too sure what was going to happen with that but I definitely was not thoroughly prepared for the achy neck and shoulders and back - oh and the double chin from the swelling (yeah, they can have that one back), but I guess I tried not to think much about the side effects before the surgery. If I haven't mentioned it before I'm really glad I did not have the mandibulotomy, but I hate that I had the tracheotomy because I have to take my bandage off ever day, which is taped to my skin and it HURTS like the dickens (like my mom would say) when you rip it off.

I have been watching my share of tv lately and it’s driving me insane. The problem is that doing anything makes me so tired and I’ll sleep the afternoon away. I think it’s better to be awake and occasionally walking around, than to be knocked out cold in bed all afternoon. My other form of entertainment comes in the form of a pup named Edgar. Dear, sweet, innocent Edgar has discovered his tail. He runs round and round chasing it several times a day until he falls over. Then he proceeds to attack his tail with full on force and yelps in pain as he is slowly putting two and two together that biting the newly found toy was not such a good idea – but I haven’t the heart to spoil his fun (and my entertainment) by telling him that toy that keeps taunting him is actually attached to his body.