Thursday, February 18, 2010

Making It

That's exactly what I'm doing day by day and hour by hour. There's nothing else I can do. I apologize for not being better about keeping up with this blog, maybe I will become better, or maybe I will start a different one and allow this one to remain as is. Regardless, I am still here. In Oklahoma for the time being. I haven't made it out to Siloam for church near as much as I would have liked. I miss all the people out there, but part of me is still scared of the memories and emotions that will come up when I'm there.

I have come to deeply appreciate the many joyous memories I have of Stephanie, but there are times when the sense of loss is certainly overwhelming. There are also times when I feel as though nothing has happened. I often think of something Stephanie would enjoy hearing about, and have to remind myself I can't tell her about it.

A great friend sent me a very good book about dealing with loss. The author experienced his own tragic loss and is able to write with and about the real emotions, and the real way in which life moves on.

So I am here and I am making it. With support from everyone in my life, and ultimately with the support from God. I live each day because there is nothing better for me to do. "To live is Christ, to die is gain".

Grace and Peace,