The Return of Shark Girl

that's my spit sucker
I haven't relearned
how to swallow all my spit
so we are best friends

I guess I can tell the world hello again since they’ve decided they won’t let me out of here yet. I have at least another day here while they are running more stomach tests (tests have become the theme of my life). So lets see, my earliest memory after the surgery was waking up in ICU that night (I was mostly kept sedated and on sleeping pills so I wouldn’t move around much), and James (my nurse the first two nights), was of James taking my stats and putting a washcloth on my forehead – then I was quite out of it for a while. The worst part of ICU (besides a couple “inattentive nurses” was having a catheter (I wanted that less than I wanted a trach – seriously, I would have taken a diaper. Bu worse than that was the bed pan in ICU, but I shall spare you the glory o the bed pan. Lets just say things are better now. My absolute favorite nurse was Melissa and she came to see me in the RCU the second day I got here. She was awesome. She was the one who put the ice under my arms when my fever was 102 and she was the one who noticed my feedings were not going so well. She paid close attention to me. I need to get back over there and see her soon.

So, the beautiful world of cancer, surgery, and hospitalization – in ICU they take stats about every hour. Which means no sleep – whatsoever. In RCU they do stats every four hours, which is bad enough. Doctors begin rounds around 4 am. About the time of rounds. I have had my blood taken at least once every day, sometimes twice – which has left my poor right arm (they can’t do anything to my left because of the graft) a lovely shade of greenish purple from the iv’s and blood work. Since I had pneumonia – I had x-rays every morning, sometime between 4 and 6 am. And I had breathing treatments every 6 hours.

So I had the trach out which is nice, having them out means I can move my head around easier now. It also means when I talk or cough I have to put pressure on the bandage or else air come out the whole – which is WEIRD. I’ve started some PT – which I think the best part is the wheelchair ride over there – it’s kind of fun and I get to see the real world outside – fast food joints and all. For those who are wondering, my hair has not been washed in about 10 days, I have had baths but no hair washes. I have not brushed my teeth either – yeah, I agree, gross. I need to ask when it will be ok to do so. I’m really craving juice and Dr. Pepper but not really any food. My nurse today was putting vitamin drink stuff in my feeding tube and she was like, mmmm grape, here, smell, and put it up to my nose. I was thinking great, let the girl smell the one thing she wants, that she cannot have. And it smelled sooo good – I could smell it with her putting it up to my nose), I have speech therapy on Monday and I can’t do much until then, so I’, hoping it goes well and I can start drinking stuff then.

I’m waiting to get some feeling back in my face. My right side is pretty numb under my chin and my ear and my right side under my chin (but only above the staples line on both sides), but every now and then I get these annoying little twitchy pains, so I think the feeling is coming back. At least I hope so- it makes for a very goofy smile otherwise.

I was worried about losing my oxygen tube, at first, when they took that away (when I had the trach out)– we had bonded. It had brought me much needed humidified oxygen for about a week. But I’m glad it’s gone – one less tube!

So, I guess I have to mention how amazingly wonderful Warner is. He gets up at my every need and checks the machines when they beep – and he calls the nurse for me. He understands me when I talk – which is a miracle in itself. He has slept every night in the room (in RCU) or in the waiting room (while in ICU) with me. But he did eat a cookie in front of me last night! It was white choco. Macademia so he was pretty safe. All in all, I can’t say enough for how awesome he has been through the whole thing.

So I’m here. Making it. I’m ready to get on with it all. I have my moments – some are better than others, but I hope it all gets better when I get home from the hospital and back to my puppies (Mary – you don’t get them forever, although, you seem to be taking the most amazing care of them!!!!!) and stop sitting around all day. I’ve still got a long way to go, but don’t feel sorry for me. I realized I had tons of plans for my life, and yeah, some of them are still the same, but as far as the others, God never meant for them to happen anyway, and that’s okay. So, on to more doctor appointments.