No More Tubes!

Here's a stat for you:

I have not, not had tape on some part of my body since May 19th. That was almost 4 months ago! We were on our way to the hospital this morning to get my feeding tube removed and for a moment I got really excited because I was thinking that once I got my tube removed I would no longer have any tape on my body (I kept it taped to my stomach all the time) WRONG! I immediately realized I would have a big ol bandage over my little hole in my belly! It is, however, the first time I have been tube free since May 19th and that's pretty exciting!

Okay, now story time! We were a little late getting to the hospital because of a wreck on I-10 and a stalled car a little further down. We made it though and we checked in. They called us back to the pre-op area where they take your stats and all. Then the nurse tells me to put on the gown. Okay, so if you've paid attention at all, you know that I think they are making a huge deal out of the whole procedure and I think they are nuts, and I've told them so, more or less. So I asked the nurse what all I had to take off. She replied, "Everything but your underwear." This did not bode well with me, I was going to have to sit on the table with my gown lifted up so he could pull the tube out of my belly, wearing nothing but my underwear, and there were no drugs involved this time. So I threw a small fit and explained to the nurse what I was having done but she insisted I put on the gown. I made faces at the curtain when she left, yes, I'm three. So, the guy comes to transport me and another nurse comes and tells me that everything I went through was unnecessary because I'm an "outpatient." Duh, I tried to tell them that. So I asked if I could put my clothes back on, and I did so. They tried to get me a wheel chair but I insisted I could walk. Then they brought me back out to the waiting room where I started because no one knew where "outpatient radiology" was. The problem was, no one told my doctor where I was, so he was looking all over for me. He came out in the waiting room, and I thought I recognized him (I was extremely drugged last time I met him and was still in ICU, but his voice sounded really familiar) but he went right back in the back area. When he came out again he looked confused and was talking to someone in the admissions area, so I asked him if he was looking for me, and of course he was. I told him they had been running me all over the place and were making a big deal about the whole thing. He told me removing the tube would take like 2 seconds (and it did) and that some people even take their own tubes out! I told him I really would have done that if I could have gotten on the phone and had him tell me how to deflate the balloon. He laid a sheet down on the table and stacked up three folded sheets as a pillow and told me to lay down. He then deflated the balloon and pulled the thing out. Totally didn't hurt at all, he asked me if it did, and I said, definitely not, and told him it was so much better than having tubes pulled out of your neck. I told him after about how the admissions people were telling me that I would have had to have an IV in case they needed anesthesia - this made him laugh and he said that was completely unnecessary, I said I agree, I wasn't put under when it was put in, so why would they do it now! I wanted to ask him if it was necessary for me to skip breakfast but I figured I would not have been happy if I found out that I could have eaten because I was STARVING, so I didn't ask! We got Whataburger on our way home. 

So, the tube is gone and I have no restrictions. It just feels kind of like a slightly pulled muscle and it itches (but I think that is because of the tape!). We are going out to Cheesecake Bistro tonight to celebrate. Tomorrow I will go pick Edgar up from the vet where he is getting fixed and having a hernia removed! Poor puppy! I think Ruekie enjoys the peace and quiet because he has been calm all day! Well, that's all!